Gambling?!

When gambling is no longer a game, what is gambling?

Everybody hates people who gamble, especially those who are addictive gamblers.
Reason being there are a lot of cases of death caused by gambling, a lot of cases of abuse caused by gambling, a lot of cases of family break-ups caused by gambling...and a lot more of fatal and negative cases caused by gambling.
Nothing good came out from being a gambler I assumed, so its kinda okay to hate those who gamble, right?
Well, yes, you have the rights, but will you still hate gamblers if I am to put it this way.....?

First, gambling does not only happen in casinos, lottery shops, underground casinos or any legal or illegal gambling centres that involved money, gambling is somehow our life, what we experience on a daily basis.
From the moment you open your eyes, our life has been a gamble all along, haven't you notice?
When you wake you, sometimes you struggle if you want to lay for 5 minutes more, that is a struggle, or should I say a gamble? Because if you sleep for that 5 minutes, you are actually gambling with the traffic, as we all know a few minutes during peak hours really make a big difference in the traffic, so this is a gamble.
You are gambling between being late or not being late, this is the first thing we do when we wake up and its already been a gamble.
Then, you would have breakfast, you will then be struggling what to eat, a cup of coffee and a few biscuits, at Mc Donalds or Subway, or just not to eat any. This is what we struggle right? But where is the gamble part here? Well, same concept with 5 minutes of sleep, to be late or not to be late? That's truely a question right haha
Well, some say this only subject to those who have no responsible with life, because if they know they need to go to work or school, they must have the responsibility to wake up earlier to avoid being late, so its a choice, not a gamble...
Fair enough, but the statement able is already a type of gambling right? I mean the choice between being responsible or not, a gamble, solid one indeed! Gamble here doesn't mean to be responsible or not, but the consequences that leads behind, if one is responsible, they are being labelled as a good person and not responsible is being otherwise.
So the significant difference in between a choice and a gamble is if they are aware about the consequences that leads or the emotional roller-coaster created during the process. For example, telling a white lie, to tell or not is the choice but to be aware of the consequences is a gamble, because it can be either positive or negative, there is no SURE answer when a person's emotions are involved.
So this is how the a gamble works, the decision is decided based on thoughts and awareness towards the situation and the subject we are facing.

And anyhow in life, we will face a lot of challenges and hardships, and how we decide to solve them are all a gamble we decided to take.
For instance, those who wants to loose weight, they will be consistently be gambling about controlling their appetite so they are able to fit in nice clothes or to enjoy their life as we only live once and to not regret not eating for the sake of clothes.
For those who is opening a business, it is what we define gamble as, because when you start your business, no one can ensure the business will be successful or not, but having the courage and to trust ourselves is a big gamble, and this is the only gamble that when you loose, it causes the most severe financial damage ever.
For those who are struggling to get a good CGPA, their gamble is on time. Because being a university student, it is important to have great memory and build relationships, have fun and learn something practical and not dead boring theories from the textbooks. Time passes by fast, and when it is really over, you will notice that you have not been able to have a memorable university life, and that sense of emptiness is no joke. This is one of the gambles you invest a lot in of time in and when regret hits, the feeling of disappointment is so huge that when you recall about it, nothing more came up other than those days you study study study and study, just for the sake of a 4.0 CGPA.
But here is the ironic part, because nothing stated good result = good job performance, good result = to good pay, good result = high position, good result = abilities. Of course, the gamble is not asking to fail your schools, but live as it is, do your very best during university periods and let fate do the job.

As a student myself, this is the most useless gamble of all, because this is what Chinese families taught their children, that good results = good future, but they forgotten in every person's life, memories are as well.
After all, gambling is not a decision making process but a decision making channel, a channel where the consequences are all depended on their FATE.
Yes, gambling is about fate indeed, no one can control it and no one is able to control it; Fate is what decides it anyway....LOL


Written On

22 August 2015


APA Referencing

Wei, J. L. (2013, October 31). GAMBLING (PROBLEM GAMBLING). Image Retrieved from Full of Emotion: https://emojon.wordpress.com/2013/10/31/gambling-problem-gambling/ 

My Birthday...

“Today is my birthday

あなたは覚えていますか

But I'm...

慣れてる... 独りぼっちで過ごすのが...

会いたいよ... 諦められないあなたが...

Why did you leave me

言うほど 届かないどこへ...

Should I forgot you 

泣くほど 消えていくあなた...
My Birthday - FT Island”

Today is my birthday

Do you remember it?

But I'm…

spending… here all alone…

I want to see you… I can't give up on you…

Why did you leave me?

It's too much that it can't reach you, where are you?…

Should I forget you?

You're fading and I cried so much…
My Birthday - FT Island

You can choose to listen to the song while reading this blog post, maybe it will trigger you feelings as I have!

A lot might think, a song about birthdays huh, it must be something happy.

Well, nope. This song is nothing happy or sweet, it is about celebrating your birthday without the people you love the most together with you. It is pure pain and heartaches.

WHY?! Why make a painful birthday song?

I guess the song writer wants the public to remember what does it mean to celebrate your birthday.

With the new trends nowadays, everyone's values and habits while celebrating birthday's have change a lot. Instead of celebrating with families, most of them celebrate first with friends, and families will only celebrate after that.

Is this right? I remember one of my friends telling me that she is celebrating her birthday with her friends, I asked how about your family? Are you celebrating together? She said, nope, why would I ever want to celebrate with my family? I would rather have fun with my friends because I can't 'be myself' when I am with my family, they are control freaks.

Yes, I understand that feeling, but since when did a birthday celebration be celebrated without one's family members? Is this like the new trend nowadays?

Have they forgotten what their families have done to make them who they are now? Is all the hard work forgotten when you are growing up? Have memories fade so fast?

The first time when I saw the name of the song, immediately I think of a happy song, but when I listen to it, feeling were brought out, it reminds me of the times I have not been able to celebrate with my family, not because I choose friends or anything, but because I have not been able to be with them during my birthday...

And because of this, whenever I see people decided to celebrate their birthdays with their friends or boyfriend instead of their family, I wonder if they understand the consequences that comes later, because time doesn't go in reverse mode, what that has past is not going to happen again.

Life is a choice, and time is what determines your choices. If you made a good choice, then the time you spend will be much more meaningful compared if you made the wrong choice. But mistaken are allowed to be made just make sure you change it when you notice it.

Actually this is those songs that inserts meaning to your life, making you remember what is the core meaning towards a certain condition.
For example, in the lyrics, it said do you remember it? Has it been so long that they have already forgotten about your birthday? I guess not, because you are family, and I bet are the ones that remembers your birthday without any reminder from FaceBook or any applications out there.
It also said that they are celebrating it all alone, this is mainly caused by yourself. Because after a certain amount of time, relationships between you and your family fades and it then creates a barrier in between and this is when it is hard to pull the relationship close again. It takes time, but time has been running away, and later on what is left is you and you yourself. If you still could not give up on them, please make effort to mend the fading relationship, because I bet if you ask anyone that has experience their close ones leaving them, they will say that not being able to spend enough time with their love ones is the thing that causes regret. And I might add, time is never enough when it is with your families.
Sometimes, families leave you, because of the mistakes you did or if you have pushed them away? Anyway, if they leave you, is it their fault? To me, this is when the regret part comes in, because this is when your hardwork doesn't pay off and you are still alone. What you have done is not making any good and you are starting to get lost, lost in the sense you don't know if going back to them is possible, lost in the sense you do not know if you have any families anymore? Or lost in the sense that you are confused about where you belong to. Lost until you can't reach out to them anymore.
Then the worst is when you are struggling if you should just let it be, because the communication between is fading away, the connections in between are fading away, the strong bond in between is fading away, and until then tears are what is left.
I guess this is not what birthdays are meant to be, because if birthdays are the reasons causing this hardships in a relationship, it would be meaningless to even celebrate birthdays.

Birthdays are the times you recall the things your family has done for you, the pain your mother went through just to get you to this world, the time, the patience, the love your family gave you and the importance of having them in your life.
Family makes you complete, family makes you whole.
So next time when you celebrate your birthday, rethink of the person you want to spend it with, they will appreciate it to the fullest and cherish those memories till the end.


Written On

16 August 2015


APA Referencing

Jae, M. (2015, July 7). FTISLAND - My birthday (Sub English & Español). Retrieved from YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSR04cHbUU8

mojim, & makikawaii-jklyrics.BP. (2015, May 13). FT Island – My Birthday. Retrieved from ♪TUNE UP♪: https://tuneuplyrics.wordpress.com/2015/05/20/ft-island-my-birthday/ 

The Goldfish Memory

A lot say a goldfish has a memory span of 7 seconds. Only 7 short seconds, is this a good thing or a bad thing? What will you choose is you were given a second chance to choose life? To be human or to be a goldfish?

If you choose to be a human, you will have the ability to remember all the happy memories such as being praised in being good when you are a little kid, having the memories of visiting to those awesome countries, surprise parties your friends and families made for you, the times where you were being loved and many many more.
Then there is anger, those emotions that will only caused by memories that you have been keeping to yourself for a certain period of time and when the day you could not hold it anymore, you explode. And when that happens, you will cause bad bad bad memories that you wish you had never experienced before and it is a two way experience where the same emotions effects the other person as well.
Last would of course be sad moments, these are the times you wish you could forget for the rest of your life, for example heart breaks given by the ones you loved, failures in life, deaths, disappointments and a lot more heart aching moments that you wish you could be a goldfish forever.

So, is it so good to be able to be a goldfish other than a human?
Recently I had a talk with my close buddy, she told me her experienced where she was dumped by her boyfriend, she was so in love with him that she said she could not live without him and do not know how she would be without him accompanying her. She said if she had the chance she would rather choose to be a goldfish, because she is able to refresh her memory immediately after 7 seconds and she will only be in pain for 7 seconds.

The moment I heard her saying this I smiled. She thought I was so cruel that I was laughing at her heart breaks, but in fact, I am laughing at her being so pure with life. This is a complicated world and she is able to kept such pure heart is truly something awesome.
She asked why, I did not say anything but I asked a question: Do you remember loving him? She did not understand why I asked such question so I told her my thoughts.
'In this world, if you were a goldfish with only 7 seconds of memory would you have the chance to be in love with him? Or only being in love for 7 seconds is already enough for you? If you were a goldfish with 7 seconds of memory would you be able to remember all the happy moments you have cherish so much with him? Or are all those memories not important or memorable at all that you hope it would be deleted from your memory after just 7 seconds? Yes, you might encounter sadness or anger, but if you were only a goldfish with 7 seconds of memory, you would have no memory of who he is, and worst memory of who you are. Is remembering who you are so frustrated that you wish to forget yourself after just 7 seconds since your birth? Are you so unappreciated that you would want to just remember yourself for 7 seconds? In your whole life span, is 7 seconds for everything really enough for you?'

For me, 7 seconds is just too short for me to do anything, I am not able to remember what I love, what I am passionate about, what my abilities are, all my experiences, and myself. I am not given the chance to remember anything. I really can't imagine what would I be without memories.
Yes you might be hurt sometimes, and would want these memories out of your life, but by remembering it, you would know how to be grateful of what you had and know what does it means to be alive. Because without memories, you would be just like a robot.
A robot without feelings and emotions. A robot without identity.
Actually by having memories, we are able to learn how to balance out emotions and thinkings. For instance we would know that happy moments are more important and is something more memorable, therefore you can use happy memories to overlap your unhappy thoughts. It is effective because if your are able to put your bad memories aside, you will be choosing happy over sad and that decision is done by having memories and past experiences.

Humans; a species that is given the chance to choose happiness or sadness.
During my secondary years, I was in a situation where I am being so sad and emotionally down for my whole form 5 year. I experienced a relationship split, a death from my most loved grandmother and a boycott from almost the whole form 5 students. It is really emotionally abusive indeed.
I was so sad but I am not given the chance to express my feeling so I kept it all to myself and cried myself to bed for a very long period of time.
Then, I tell myself I need to change. Not my personality to please the others, but my mindset. The choice of being a goldfish towards my sad and angry memories. It might sound impossible, but it works.
How?
Well, first is to be grateful, always be grateful. Because one can only be happy if your are satisfied with your life and what you already have. Second is to find your passion, do what you love and find love in what you are doing. Because by doing what you love, you are able to open up your mind and make your life meaningful again, and at that moment, I rediscovered music :D Third is to read, yeah yeah I know, reading is boring, but reading does help. Not motivational books, any books will do. Me myself, I love novels, romantic, horror, investigation and family related ones. Books that inspires you, books that help you rethink your actions and ways of seeing things, because by changing your perspectives, you are able to change and choose happiness.
Last but not least, is to choose. Choose the life you wanted to live, the things you wanted to remember and certainly the 'you' you want to be. When you encounter sadness, sit back relax and chill. Or just simply to K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple Stupid). When your mindset is simple, you can easily filter out bad memories and forget things you want to forget. Or even choose to not remember when it is already happening, this is really good way to stay happy.

So you do not need to be a goldfish to filter out sad memories, you can be you and learn the filtering skills later haha
It needs some time but it is definitely worth it.
Well, it has some negative effects though.....What? Well, later you would know you would have bad bad memory. Like what my brother said, I need blueberries (like a lot) because my memory is so bad now I could not remember anything >< Yeah, I only remember what I want to remember, and most of them aren't stuff I want to remember so yeah......hehe


Written On

9 August 2015


APA Referencing:

Mortensen, P. (2010, June 9). Goldfish Memory. Image Retrieved from The Fishbowl Experiment: http://fishbowlexperiment.com/ 

Family?

Have you ever had that feeling of meeting strangers?
The feeling of anxiousness and you are always concern about the things they say or do while you are present. That sense of awkwardness you feel, sometimes even uncomfortable being in a particular situation, but...is this what a person should feel whenever they are with their family?
Ermmm, of course not, like DUHH!
Your family grew with you, you live together, your family is what made you who you are standing in this world today, so in what context do you think you have the choice to even be uncomfortable with them. Moreover say that they are strangers?
If a person really say such things he or she must be categorised as an unfilial person, how can one say such to their flesh and blood?

I couldn't agree more, but somehow I need to deny it because I am in the category that thinks otherwise.....Why?
Well, in a person's life, we are not born with one family but two, we call them the mother's side and the father's side. Even if both families stay near to each other, there will be culture differences, there will also be a family where you meet more frequently, the family where you were being brought up with their culture and living attitudes, no doubt.
So, whenever you meet with the other family, at some point you will feel a slight distance as they are not the family you are used to be with, at least they are not the family who experienced all your worst times nor best times. Just a family you visit whenever there are any celebrations or festivals.
In some families, both families can be so close that everyone can mix and mingle so well, that is the best condition two families could be seen as, A Big Family.
But how many families can really be as such?

I do observe my cousin's family. *the cousin from my mother's side*
In my eyes, they are the One-Big-Family type, which is really good!
But, in everybody's heart, there must be something that we can't see, which is their feelings.
By chance, I got really close with my cousin, and sometimes when we have your lunch date or 'yumcha' session, we talk about our feelings. She said actually she have not visit her father's side for quite some time. I am a little surprise, cause they are that good big family to me, but in her heart, she would rather choose her boyfriend than to visit her father's family. I asked why, she said actually she had no choice, because both of them are now working and the only time she can meet with her boyfriend was on Saturdays. And her Sundays are given to her parents, its their family day.
I then understand, in everyone's heart, everything is given a level, some are meant to be higher than others. Some are meant to be left-a-side first if something more important is to be happening on the same day, and unfortunately, her father's side family day is to be on Saturday.......Well.....she is bad right? But if you want to take up something, you need to let go of some other things first, and this is what she did.
Sorry to say, but I will have to agree with her.

I myself is being placed in the same situation. Well, no, I don't have a boyfriend LOL
My situation is  one of my cousin * my father's side* always asks me the same question: Why do you not call back to ask about your grandmother and this family's situation? I stunned and answered, cause I am busy. He knew I was in my sem break, so he was thinking that I was just trying to fool him. But I am indeed busy, I am working, so yes I am busy.
Plus, making phone calls on a weekly basis is not something I practice, and at some extend, maybe I was just mad, because when I move to Taiping to live with my father's family, I was not given much chance to visit my mother's family which is in KL and my grandma is a breast cancer patient.
So, that most important few years of her life, I was in Taiping, and I guess the not-calling-others culture was bread since I went to Taiping since Form 1 as well. Why? Cause my mother's side are the ones that will call me as they knew then I was young and I am of course not able to pay for the phone bills.
Here is something ironic, I was scolded by one of my aunts in Taiping for making phone calls because I talk for too long. Well, since then I don't make calls, but it is okay, because I knew my family will call me. And the funny part is they now wants me to call back more frequently.
Since young I am not breed with this culture, and I am really forgetful, so sometimes I am really too busy to really remember about making a phone call.
My dad then say: Do you want your child to not make phone calls to you when you are old? Well, of course not. So why are you doing this to your family? It is not something you do whenever you remember, but something you NEED to do because it's your responsibility.
In fact, I do understand, but sometimes I was thinking, if we have a stronger bond, stuff like this shouldn't even be an ask-to-do task, but a oh-I-miss-them phone call. But not being close is nobody's fault, not being brought up in that family is also no one's fault. Cause I do appreciate my father's family, especially my grandmother, she is really a cute, awesome and hardworking woman. I am very comfortable when I am with her, but at some point, it is different. I myself can't fully explain why, its just a feeling I have, the feeling of not being super duper close I guess? I don't know......
And now, because I am not doing what my father's side think I should I am wrong, they think its wrong because this is the family they have strong connections with, so not doing so is of course unfilial. I agree that I am wrong actually, but not unfilial.

I don't recall not making phone calls as an unfilial act actually, is it an unfilial act? I do wonder.
Actually rather than saying I am unfilial, I would say I am just practising a different culture comparing to them.
I told my brother about my thoughts, he agrees but tells me something and asks me to think about it, he said: You feel that you are not wrong or unfilial, because in your heart, you are not that kind of person right? But it is in your heart, how would the others know that you aren't that kind of person. And if you want others to stop thinking that you are unfilial or bad, act it out rather than keeping it in your heart where no one is able to see it.
You guessed it, I am really in a dilemma now. I know I am not wrong, but am I? Should I really change? He then continued: I know you want to be yourself, but is there any good from there? Sometimes why not just go with the flow, not asking you to change, but just do something that is good to both parties. If making phone calls is really something you can't seem to remember, do something else in exchange. Like me, I don't call too, but when I have break, I go back, so why didn't you go back last holiday? Me: Cause I am working, when I am not I do visit okay! Just because I did not went back during my ONE past break I am bad? My brother: Nope, but you should call them right? Me: I know I should not say this but....I forgotten. I started my work before my exam even ended, so I need to concern about both my exam and my work. A lot might think I am making excuses, but I really forgotten. Not on purpose but forgotten, for real!

Family; Home.
To me, a place where I can be comfortable and be myself, and if I need to follow their expectation and get bad feedbacks on not meeting them, how am I able to be comfortable?
I respect them, the only thing I hope to get back is being respected too. Or at least to be able to feel comfortable. And if I could not get that, how am I suppose to call that place home? How am I able to LOVE going back there?
Any advice? But I guess the advice would just be asking me to chance huh? Or even telling me to not be such an unfilial person.....well, maybe I really am, although I don't believe so.

Love towards a family comes from the heart. Too much flowery acts sometimes just makes you a fake person, I have my beliefs.
I will go with my beliefs for now, but I don't hate change.
So yeah, am going back this weekend. Well, actually I go back a lot compared to the years when I am still in Taiping, I don't come back to KL that often........only during long school holidays, even one week holidays I am not able to come back, because my dad said its troublesome....?!
Well, not trying to seek for fairness, cause I know there's no such thing? So why compare?
Just excuses to hold my ground I guess......>< LOL


Written On

31 July 2015

Are you Happy?

Are you Happy?

Everything has three sides.

First, the good side, so the next side...well, you guessed it, the bad side. How about the third side? I say the unknown.

But isn't there only two sides, being happy and being sad, you can also call it the black and white, its really that simple. Or not...?

I guess no, there is always this grey area in everything, no matter you are happy or sad, there is still the centre point where you just can't make sense of what you feel and certainly unable to translate those 'I think I feel happy/sad' into our 'feelings', because you simply don't understand what sort of feelings are you having at that moment. So I guess calling it the unknown is quite suitable huh!

Actually what I am trying to say is about the Ferris Wheel and Tears.

Many people say the Ferris Wheel meant happiness, love, dreams and many more positive things, but is it so?

To me, the Ferris Wheel meant more than that, other than all those happy things, we seems to forget that the Ferris Wheel has ups and downs. Yes, downs.

When the Ferris Wheel gets up high in the air, it meant happiness, but when it comes down, it just simply meant otherwise. The Ferris Wheel is the reflection to life, just like our life, we have ups and downs, and when there is ups, we feel happy, when it reaches the ground, it meant sadness, but how about when the Ferris Wheel is in the middle? That is when you can neither see the view from up top or the clear view of the ground, and most people are in this centre part where they don't know what to feel anymore? Because they are numb towards living or towards sadness that they learn to bare with it rather than express it, and the unknown part widens. And at some point, you might even lost yourself.

The Ferris Wheel, when you look up, you feel small because of its size, and of course you feel amazed by it, cause it really gives out the happy vibe, the vibe that comforts you, but try observing it going round and round and round. Can you see your life reflecting in the Ferris Wheel? Can you see yourself smiling while the Ferris Wheel reflects yourself?
If you can't, then.....Are you Happy?

Tears, well, its tears so it must be categorised at the sad part...right?

Because while the surface of tears meant sadness, hardships or anything that stands for negativity. These are the time we can totally relate with tears, cause its something that only produces if you are sad.

This I can't argue, because when you are sad, you cry. Its' how people function, no doubt there.

But does tears meant the sad part, the black part? Does it have no centre point? The 'unknown'?

Tears can also be found when your are happy right? When you are touched, when you laugh so much that your tears come out and many other situations that cause you to cry from happiness.

This is already so common that I am not going to touch this part, because like the Ferris Wheel, it has different interpretations and meanings.

To me, personally I am super emotional that I get sad in a split second. Well, girls and their emotions LOL

I guess there is no unknown part here? Well, in fact there is.

Tears to me is a symbol of de-stress and is also the pathway to reduce sadness.

Yeah, I cry a lot. As what I have mentioned, you cry when you are sad, similarly you cry when you have stress, so here, it meant the 'black' part I guess.

So where is the unknown? Actually in the process of crying, your analogue button opens. It's most probably the time where you talk to yourself the most. It's the part where you are given a chance to rediscover yourself.

Throughout the process, you feel as you are nothing, so useless that you aren't worth anything. And this is when the unknown part comes in.

You will find yourself and somehow get yourself back on track, you will know what is needed to be done, you will know what words are to be said and what words are to be best if stayed secret. You find yourself.

Everytime when you are sad, you loose a piece of yourself. So it kinda make sense, cause loosing yourself is painful and sad.

So, after finding yourself, you are whole again.

It is when I can say I am Happy, not because of looking at something that meant happiness, but to seek happiness from sadness and regain yourself. The adventure you will go on sometimes to make sure that our 'me' and 'I' get back as one again.

That is what true happiness means to me, not because of someone telling me to be happy or not being of any influences by the outside world, but only you and yourself talking, trying to find the balance of yourself.
Cause the society is too fake and everyone is masked up, armed up just for the sake of being what people expected and not what you wanted yourself to be.

Loosing yourself is really scary, so if your are able to find yourself again and make yourself whole, I would want to ask you the same question again from the beginning.....

Are You Happy?

Written On

26 July 2015

APA Referencing

Byford, J. (n.d.). Ferris wheel [ big wheel ] at bottons in Skegness. Image Retrieved from Skegness In Picture: http://www.skegness.org.uk/pages/album/big-wheel.html

Hunter, C. K. (2011, August 24). Travel Tears: In-Flight Entertainment Abounds. Image Retrieved from Smart Meetings: http://www.smartmeetings.com/news/travel/62585/travel-tears

Are We So Easily Influenced?

A Cinderella Story, one of my favourite movies.
Although this is a old movie, and even if I have watched it for more than a thousand times, I cried everytime because it is just too close to reality. Movies are usually non-fiction but this is just so me I guess.
I use freak out whenever I am given the chance to do the things I liked, because I care about other people's opinion and if I get any feedback saying 'No' 'Its Bad', I don't do it no matter how much I wanted to.
But since I watched this movie, this quote keeps running around my mind and it acts as my alarm whenever I freak out at anything.
Well, okay. I won't say I am not freaking out anymore, and unfortunately I still freaked out a lot, I think too much about the right and wrong and ended up not doing it cause I am too negative. But if I am able to think about this quote, it really boosts up my confidence level, and whenever I think about this quote, I think about the movie as well.
Yes, other than this quote, the whole movie contains a lot of inspirational words and actions that an individual should have.

First is to be true yourself no matter what circumstances.
Work hard and live up to your life.
Family is not only those that are blood-related to you but those that stand by your side whenever you need them.
Never give up even when it seems like you are loosing.
Last but not least, to be positive, because sometimes fairy-tales do happen; especially when you are not aware of it.

People nowadays, especially young teens, they have confidence and everything an individual needs to survive, but not a sense of grateful was to be seen. I really do wonder why this happened, is this what society has taught them? Has our society change this drastic to have such different perspectives towards good behaviour and attitudes?
Once I remember a post on FaceBook, a 12 year old girl commited suicide because her grades flop, she died. A few days later, another girl commited suicide again because of her grades as well, this time, she got lucky cause she only had a fracture in her arm. And when these teens are not commenting suicide, they are doing sex tapes or taking nude pictures of themselves.
Arghhh, what has happened?

Is it the lack of education? Nope. Is it the lack of interest given by their parents? Well, I guess this is kinda like the main reason huh? Or the influence of Western or Korean cultures? Actually I find this reason vague and pointless.
Cause aren't your every thought suppose to be generated by you yourself? These teens have the brains to tell their parent to not mind their business cause they TOTALLY know what they are doing and not filter what is good or bad about the information they are exposed to? Isn't it funny?
Unfortunately, the teens nowadays are way too confident therefore they think what they know or believe is the only Right rule that should be followed......Hmmmm, I do wonder about the education system now. Cause I don't recall having the slightest contact with any sort of education as such though LOL

Like I said, a lot think its because of the bad influences from the Western and Korean culture, but to me I don't think its a problem with exposure to these cultures and sometimes, its even a good thing being exposed to another culture.
First, it is you yourself that decides what to believe or what to follow, if you decide to follow the bad stuff, then it is therefore your choice. But if one is being brought up with a healthy mindset, how can they be so easily influenced by these bad influences?
So, how is the unhealthy mindset built? Don't say environments, cause its again absurd as a whole lot of people who grew in a poor family or with abusive parents turned out fine but not those who were brought up in a good environment? So this point is not a fact but a thought.
Second, bad parenting or influence by peers or friends.
Okay, come on. It is not right for parents to be consistently working until their child feels neglected, but I myself grew up from a divorced family, both my parents are busy working, I barely have time to talk to my mother then and everytime I talk to my father, our conversations leads to a fight, and I can say, it ends up really bad.
So I don't agree that growing up with parents' attention are the main reasons that caused this, as relationships can be easily changed by communicating and that is how me and my parents are now.
As for peers or friends, I believe they make a bigger impact to the thoughts of teens now, cause it seems that teens now tend to believe what their friends say and will act as such too because they want to blend in to the groups. But again, these aren't small kids that are not able to analyse, their brain cells are fully developed and is capable of doing the job we known as 'thinking'.

So where is the problem now?
Environment? Education? Family? Friends? Background? Ethnics? Cultures? Or THEMSELVES?
I do wonder.......LOL

Just like the quote, "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game".
Yes, no one should be afraid of not being able to fit in or not able to reach your goals, we are humans, we are able to make mistakes and admit we are sometimes wrong or slightly off track. But remember, never be scared of reality or loosing because its the process that really matters.
Have fun and be yourself.
Then, it will be impossible for you to be easily influenced by things that are wrong or bad. Stay strong to your own beliefs and have faith in yourself.
I am not a Christian, but hold on, cause God knows what he is doing.


Written On

19 July 2015


APA Referencing

Rosman, M. (Director). (2004). A Cinderella Story [Motion Picture]. 

Emptiness.......

What is emptiness?
Well, some say love, some say family, but to me, I say friends.

Yeah, a lot can't understand why, but friends are a very important aspect in my life.
Because friends are the ones that reflects who you are, cause the same characteristics attract the same people, so of there are no friends, who is there to portray who you are anymore?

This is quote, and it totally explains what an empty friendship feels like.......
Recently, I have this particular feeling towards my ex-college mates, we use to be so close that we are able to share everything and I mean EVERYTHING.
Well, now, its totally different.
Just because of the time we have not been able to meet up and share our thoughts made us so far apart that you can now feel the gap in between.

Although this is the process of life but it is so unfair for a human being to feel so many departures in one lifetime.
First there is the departure with our family members, no matter moving out from our home or loved ones passing away. Second, the departure of the ones we thought made us complete, our lovers. Love made two strangers so close but still could not have a happy ending therefore parting has been the only ending to some unfortunate relationships. Then there are departure from friends, the ones we believe have connections the most, from the heart or soul.
Friends are the people that not only give you inspiration, but entertainment, love, care, support and any form of happiness or support you could ever imagine of. So, having such emptiness now really makes my emotions down and somehow its been hard to had a real smile even.
Well, you can say I am too sentimental, and I don't deny it at all. Cause of being sentimental, I have friends that really had that soulmate-relationship, I am so lucky to have find those people but now, I feel unfortunate as well because mentally to me, I feel like I have lost them.
My mental support team has gone and what left feels like an empty human-shell walking as if I have no emotions or to say have forgotten what do emotions felt like. Have lost the ability to feel I guess.... :(

When does this feelings feel most real?
Well, a lot might say: It's when you see them sharing photos of new friends, new places, new clothes you have never seen, new people, new everything but without you there.
Yes, this is really sad, but to me, the time you feel the particular feeling is when you see them sharing the same photos that we use to make fun about, but this time tagging same bunch of people but sharing jokes that you don't understand. Visiting the place you use to go together but this time you are not there with them, wearing the clothes you use to call our looks but this time its with other people, spending time with the people you all call friends but you aren't one of them.
This to me is the most heartbreaking. And now with all the technology, its impossible to avoid seeing those moments of them without you there.
Well, of course. One can say: Ahhhhhhh they are still the same you are just over thinking. I agree, but the truth strikes when the awkward feeling starts to show whenever you see their post on FaceBook or Instagram, it is then you know the invisible wall is starting to build and it is getting more and more solid as the day goes by.

Sometimes you still try to reach out, because its the only chance you have....you tried to comment on their posts, you try to Whatsapp them...but when you get no replies, the only feeling felt are emptiness.
A lot say it is time when you learn to move on, but why do we need to ever feel anything like this? Isn't it unfair? Why should life be so much sadness?

Okay. The life-talk comes in now......

The only thing that makes life interesting is when there are combinations of feeling and experience, yes I know. I always did, but its still hard for me to digest this.....
Only time can make it fade....I guess?


Written On

12 July 2015


APA Referencing:

lovely.poem. (2015, June). Image Retrieved from Instagram:
https://instagram.com/p/3OtlfDhy87/