Definition by GOD?

On June 26 2015, United States legalized same-sex marriage.

Photo By: Mark Wilson

Yes. Finally Love Won. But did they really win? I guess not.
As the public is still extremely against same-sex marriage as they think it is 'wrong'.
Well, what is right and wrong? Who are they to define the terms to being right or being wrong? They solemnly disagreed to the new law cause they 'think' its wrong. But is there no right to be found in this issue?

Christians hold a very strong ground about this being wrong, with their thoughts about it being stated as sinned in their holy bible, so it is against God's rules, it is inhumane, it is immoral.
Seriously! Enough with this sort of accusations. This are all your own opinions towards the issue. There is no 'God said', it has only just been what you want God to say all along.
The bible is written ages ago and has been translated in many ways and languages, so....how accurate is the bible you are reading now?
Even if the bible is real and true, to me, it is all how the reader wants to interpret it.
Somehow, I recall the people nowadays to be intelligent enough to think wisely based on human rights. And since when is respecting others' likes not part of the society's so-called intelligent mindset?

I did some research on the topic, gathered some info about the whole issue from a lot of different people. Well, without any surprise, I am able to find people from both parties and I got info that WOWed me.
Well, not in a good way I might add.

XiaXue is one of the famous bloggers from Singapore, she recently commented about this issue and it is one of the most rational response I have ever seen. (XiaXue's Blog Post)
Although its a long post, but it is very interesting. If possible, please do spend some time reading it, cause you might change your mind after reading which is certainly a good thing for the community. The following are the words taken from her post:

"If you find something disgusting, it is easy to also decide that it is wrong, sick, and shouldn't be allowed. And that the people who like it, must be either crazy, perverse, ignorant, or has to be "fixed" in some way.
Grow up. Just because you find celery disgusting doesn't mean other people shouldn't be allowed to eat it.
A mature person separates his emotions from his judgement. It is hard to do so, I'll admit it. Being an emotional person, I still wish there are laws against all the things I dislike, but a small part of me knows that isn't right." -- XiaXue

Yes, can't agree more. You can be disgusted about it, but never loose respect to it at the same time.
Then, while reading, I recall my cousin sister telling me a conversation shared by her Lesbian friend saying:

"A: I hope things about Homosexual marriage will not be publicly shown on TV, cause I would not want my child to see information like this while they are growing up.
Friend: Well, I personally hate the Black people, so I hope they don't appear on TV too.
A: How can you be so rude? The Blacks are genetically born with black skin color, they have no choice.
Friend: Yeah. So does the Gays or Lesbians. They have no choice as they are born to like the same gender too."

This conversation hit me like a rock. Yes they are born with it. They didn't choose to be homosexuals, they are homosexuals. So, if you dislike the taste of durians, who are you to control others to not eat durians? And the bible certainly didn't say eating durians is the right thing to do right? So, since its not written in the bible to be the right thing? Why eat?
Technically speaking, eating animals are wrong, so are everyone vegan? They say sex before marriage is wrong, but look at people nowadays, getting pregnant at such young age. Then, they have no choice but to go through an abortion or gave up their baby by sending him/her to the orphanage.
So which is more inhumane? Gay marriage or 'accident-babies' created by irresponsible teens for the sake of sex?
I really do wonder, what are the rights and wrongs? Did perspectives of people changed so much that they could not decide what is the real issue they should be opposing?

I read about an article posted by Christianity Today (click here for article)
Inside, it stated:

"If we want to support marriage, we cannot wink at divorce and adultery. If we wish preserve the lives of unborn children, then we must care about the environment in which they will be born and grow. If we respect bodies as God made them, we must reject the vanity of drastic cosmetic surgeries and interventions that deny the body's natural condition, functions, and processes. If we believe Christ is the Good Shepherd who cares for his sheep, then we must lovingly shepherd the animals beneath us. If we care about God’s Creation, then we cannot treat the earth’s resources as disposable.
We must not tear the created order asunder in well-intentioned attempts to tackle “issues.” To worship God who exists in fullness and wholeness, we don’t get to pick and choose. We must dedicate our all to affirming and celebrating his right order."

What sort of words are these?
Since when did the bible force people to do something without giving them the rights to pick and choose? Since when picking or choosing stuff is wrong?

I wonder, does this mean divorced people are wrong? Does this mean people who went through a divorce are sinned? Divorced can be caused by many reasons and if God's will is to not allow any divorce cases, what rights are then given to the wives all over the world when they are being abused by their husbands? Is it then being killed by their abusing husband right?

Abortion is wrong, because cases caused by irresponsible people are increasing by the minute. But sometimes it is for the better. Technology nowadays are so incredible that they are able to test the baby's health condition through ultrasound. So if the parents are unable to choose, does this mean getting an abortion for babies with severe health issues like anencephaly, a fatal disease where the baby is to be born without parts of the brain or skull considered wrong?
There is a case in Pennsylvania, Jenna Gassew and Dan Haley, parents to a baby with anencephaly, Shane Haley. They did not go through abortion because they loved him and wanted to have spend more time with him.

Baby Shane's ultrasound picture

According to the bible, it should be right, right? However, the comments below think other wise.

Comments Taken from the Website

People have their choices, may they be to abort the baby or to keep it. So if the bible said abortion is bad and forbidden, why are there still people saying words like abortion in this case would be a 'blessing'? Although morally its wrong, but it is inhumane to give birth to a baby that you know would suffer to survive and would eventually die at a very young age. Shane's parents would never have the chance to feel pain as their baby would feel, in this case, aren't the parent too selfish to have decided not to go through an abortion, because of 'love'? Yes, it painful to let Shane go, but in fact sometimes it is for the sake of Shane....

And, we must respect how we look and not go through any plastic surgery, so does this again mean going through plastic surgery are acts of sin? Are people again unable to choose beauty? Is having the thought of being prettier wrong in any way? You might say, well, if it is necessary to undergo plastic surgery it is not wrong, but it is just to those who already have good looks or figures. Why don't they just live happily with what they have?
But in what sense is seeking perfection wrong? One can dream of having a perfect house, perfect car but not a perfect look? Isn't it ironic to have such different perspectives regarding the same thing? Double Standard much!
Try thinking if you looked like this women, Huh Ye Eun (on the left), imagine the hardship you will go through.

Huh Ye Eun - Before and After Plastic Surgery

Being called ugly is only one of the smallest hardships she will face on a daily basis. She was also jobless due to her looks and at the same time she needs to take care of her disabled brother. And after the surgery she got her life back and she had her confidence back too.
If plastic surgery can bring a person's life back, who are they to force her to 'live-with-her-original-look' and struggle to survive for the rest of her life? (Video of Huh Ye Eun's Life after Surgery)

You might say, those people that abuse their wives or hiring people based on their looks are disgusting, but aren't people who disagree with same-sex marriage same as well?
God is right, but does this mean Gays or Lesbians are wrong?
I personally changed my Facebook profile picture to the rainbow filtered one when it just came out on Facebook, the next day when I am at my university, one of my friends (well, obviously the hardcore followers of God) asked me a question.

"Friend: Hey, I have a question for you, would you prefer your son to be a rapist or a gay?
Me: A gay. I would not want my son to be a rapist, its illegal.
Friend: Okay. So, would you prefer your son being a rapist or a gay rapist?"

I did not answer, as this is a very rude question.
And I never recall God allowing vulgar words coming out from his followers mouth and certainly not questions like this! It is just outrages and to me, having attitudes like this are way way way worst than any Homosexual couples out there.
This is what disgusting is to me.


APA Referencing:

Image Retrieved from https://www.google.com/search?q=let+beauty+huh+ye+eun&biw=1366&bih=643&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=3uKXVfDsEc_muQTu84LYAQ&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAg#imgrc=NWncqmA4CWSBnM%3A

Kuruvilla, C. (2014, August 19). Pennsylvania couple take unborn baby diagnosed with fatal birth defect on bucket list of adventures. Retrieved from http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/couple-unborn-baby-diagnosed-fatal-birth-defect-bucket-list-adventures-article-1.1909379

Prior, K. S. (2015, June 29). Gay Marriage, Abortion, and the Bigger Picture. Retrieved from http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2015/june/gay-marriage-abortion-and-bigger-picture.html?paging=off

surgery, i. h. (2014, September 25). Kabar Terbaru Huh Ye Eun, Let Me In - Indonesian subtitle, Review Operasi Plastik Korea. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpvxV50IKok

Wilson, M. (2015, June 26). Gay marriage declared legal across the US in historic supreme court ruling. Retrieved from http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jun/26/gay-marriage-legal-supreme-court

XiaXue. (2015, July 4). Gay Marriage and all the Reasons to Oppose It. Retrieved from http://xiaxue.blogspot.sg/2015/07/gay-marriage-and-all-reasons-to-oppose.html

The 'So Call' Effective Education System?!

There has been a new trend, a trend of getting a degree or higher level certificate, a trend of getting good grades.
Some say its purposed to get a good job, some say its one's responsibility to get into good school then universities, but I say, it is definitely A NEW TREND.
Why? Well, because we of the education system nowadays, it is changing the true meaning of education. And I would want to add that it is not a good change.
A lot say if you want to success, you need to study, and of course excel in them as well.
I agree, but I have to disagree first to agree.

First, the education system now is forming people that are arrogant and think of themselves as 'smarty-pants'. Because they are in the science field it doesn't mean those in the art stream are stupid people, but this is what they are being compared against.
Like what the adults say, 'Oh you are studying medic / engineering / science stuff, you must be smart' 'Ahh you are studying communication? What does that do.....?' What will it lead to? Comparison between the subjects and the person as well.
It will definitely make the art student feel as they aren't as good as the science student right? Actually everyone is smart in their own way, why compare?
From personal experience, we went to do a survey for one of our research assignments, we met some medic students, and you can guess what happen next. One of the students smirked and say 'Why so serious about this? This isn't medic stuff, just simply fill up and get done with it'. I got stunned and mad, how can he say that? How can he think that other courses' work, studies or research are useless? And how can he said that out loud without even think about our feelings? Does he think that being a medic student himself meant he is better than us?
This is one of the biggest flaw in the education system nowadays, it is also the most disrespectful.

Second, is about the teaching style of each university.
I myself have been a diploma student from KDU University, and now as a student of UTAR, I was quite shocked about how knowledge is being disseminated to the students here. It is unbelievable that this many people think UTAR as a good place to study despite comparing the teaching style and content in other colleges or universities.
The most significant difference is the way they interpret efficiency. In most universities or colleges, the way they educate us to complete our assignments are by using the fastest way but with the knowledge we should know as well. For example, in KDU, our first class was about academic writing. It taught us how to write and do correct reference, and of course how to make us more efficient which is to use the Microsoft Word built in function to do the reference. While in UTAR, class were being conducted to do work the hard way. To write reference by hand, actually its is not a big deal but think about it, when you are to work in the society or do your master or PHD paper, there will be tons of references that needed to be written and without the knowledge of being able to do it with a software, hours will be spend doing it especially when there are more than 100 references used.
Again this is from my personal experience, I taught one of my friends in UTAR about this function and when she submitted her work, her lecture scolded her and said this is unacceptable and asked her to redo her report? WHAT?! In fact what is wrong with doing reference in such a way? Is it because UTAR is so stubborn or rigid so they are being known as a good university?

Third is about exams, this is another thing I am disappointed about UTAR.
Because when you write what you understand you are wrong, only when you write what is written in the slides or textbooks are RIGHT! Again, what? Unacceptable!
Because to me, understanding is more important than memorizing. As memorizing is just basically forcing your brain to remember what you want to remember and not understanding it which is much more useful as after you understand it, you will not only remember, you will also be able to put yourself in that situation and recall what that is needed to whenever you want to.
So, if understanding is so important, why is writing down what you understood is considered wrong?
Another experience from my friend, she wrote what she understood similar to be answer but not identical. But before that, the question was super simple, 'Write down a type of media used for this process.' She wrote Television. Guess what? Her answer was wrong, because it was not written in the marking scheme, as the answer in the marking scheme was Radio. WOW!! Such a big difference right? LOL

University is supposed to be a place that teaches us knowledge as well as hands on practical skills to be used in our future, but from what I have experienced, UTAR is a university that limits students.
Since when does a university or such schooling environment makes a successful person? I don't even dare to comment about it.
Because for your info, a good student (with super high CGPA or good results) doesn't make a good person neither does it make a good employee or good human being. As a good student is just nothing more than a good student, someone who is able to study and study and study and study, oh almost forgotten, other than study they are able to memorize and able to write what they memorize during exams. They are such good students no doubt huh.

But rethink about it, is CGPA that important? Is having good results that important?
Has anyone noticed that the suicidal percentage has been increasing? Has no one notice any glitch that needs to be fixed?
Is this sort of education system good for us, or for our next generation?
Please rethink and if nothing has changed, then maybe this is why Malaysia has stayed this way for such a long time. HA!


Written On

6 September 2015

Rules

In this society, we have been govern by a lot of rules and regulations, because this is what makes us a better person.

Rules is the only thing that keeps us in line, keeps us good.
It is also the only thing that is making us different from one another, because we are controlled by different rules.
Sometimes when they are controlled by rules, if the person obeys the rules then they are good people, and those that did not follow are showing bad results.
To me, rules are important and we need to follow them, but actually I don't feel as it is something necessary, because it causes the reverse effect for most of the time.
What do I mean by that?
Well, rules make us better humans, because without rules we are no different than animals right? Don't want to make it as if its a joke, because with or without rules, human are different (Obviously!)
So why do we need rules?

First, is for the authorities to control us. To make it simple, in a family, our parents set rules, and we must follow those rules, if not we are considered as a bad child.
For example, rule is set to study at 5pm in the evening, so you study during that time. But I want to study at night, so I did not follow the rule and my parents think I did not study. This is really bad for the child actually, why? Well, everyone has their own way of studying, so what if they enjoy to study at night when its quiet and cold, does this mean because they did not study during 5 they are wrong?
Here is the side effect of having rules and forcing people to follow them without them willing to. A child has passion to study at night, but being forced to study in the evening will only cause them to actually lost passion in studying and patience towards the family will also be affected.
Besides being in a family, a lot are also being monitored by their schools or work force, this is to make sure that everyone is doing a good job. Yes, but actually it is causing bad effects as well, especially in schools.
Because a lot of young teens are really rebel during this period, so they tend to do what is said forbidden.
Okay, this is the part where I argue my own statement, because in this society, rules are actually important, to keep us from being bad, or at least doing bad stuff. But to the children, they are suppose to get these education from home, right? Why see it as if schools are the only place for that? As a parent what should and should not be done so just past that knowledge on and on and on.

Rules are needed to make a country, a society.
But it is not made to control, or even worst to force people.
Rules are being misuse by the people nowadays, that is why more and more cases are popping up and more of them are cases done by teens or young adults.
Like what we say, whenever someone say no too frequently about the same thing, they will get fed up and they will then be rebellion and start to plan some 'evil scheme' to 'get back' to their parents or the ones that issue those rules.
Rules need to be used with a bright and clear mind. So they know how to make a better person by then choosing to be 'controlled' rather than forced to be controlled.

Rules are made to differentiate us, so just make good use of it all our special and different personalities will appear and the easier it is to get along with the people in the world.
Because rules help us acknowledge as well.


Written On

5 September 2015


APA Referencing

Merhar, C. (2014, April 2). Small Business Employee Benefits and HR Blog. Image Retrieved from Zane Benefits: http://www.zanebenefits.com/blog/fsa-balance-rollover-hsa-contribution-rules 

Bersih 4.0

During this Bersih 4.0 rally, there has been a sudden trend of using the Chinese Surname as our profile picture to show we support Bersih no matter who we are.

But apparently, some think otherwise.

They say this is going to cause racial issues! And Bersih assembles us as Malaysians so they say it is better to not use our surnames as our profile picture because the Malays or Indians might get offended.

Well, when this post saying this might cause racial issues I see a lot of people taking this picture down and changing to something more general like 'We Are Malaysian' 'Saya Anak Malaysia' and many more. I don't mean it is wrong to change the picture, but I just don't feel like using your name is a racial issue.

Different races represents Malaysia as Malaysia and in fact Malaysia is a multi-racial country. In heart we all know we ARE Malaysians. If one picture of one's names can affect the 'semangat' of Bersih or affect the feelings of the other race, then the change we have wanted has not been made.

Because to accept different races is the first step of change. And the creator of the Chinese Surname picture, Warren (if I am not mistaken), did not even meant to disrespect in the first place, so why interpret as so?

As Malaysians, why worry about such things when there is actually more severe situations that one should consider worrying about? The meaning of having the Bersih rally will not change regardless our race nonetheless our surname.

For my opinion, those that attended the Bersih rally are aware of the condition and they went because they knew us as one and most importantly, they understand us as we have been living under this big roof for quite some time.
So, the ones that think it will lead to racial issues are either not 'semangat' enough, not changing in heart, not believing we are able to make change or just thinking Malaysians as those glass-hearted ding-dongs that do not know how to think as Malaysians but those that will only think on behalf of their own race.

If I am to quote words from Mr Obama and Mr Lee Kuan Yew, a nation that is not united will never succeed. I believe Malaysia is changing, and us as Malaysians will not act as puppets that can be easily controlled by others, we are in the end all educated (at least from my family members that went to the rally told me those that attended Bersih 4.0 are all educated).

We, Malaysians have change to become one and we all want change and the first step of change is to ACCEPT. Accept the differences and whatever happens will not be a racial issue because we ARE already one. And I believe the ones that went to the rally or believe in Bersih will not be so easily manipulated by such things.

Like I said and it is so obvious that Malaysia is a multi-racial country, we do not need to forget who we are because of Bersih. This is in fact the most special factor of being Malaysian, because this is what makes us who we are.

And the reason we want change is because we wanted to protect our country Malaysia, a multi-racial country call Malaysia. So why be sensitive and make anything racial? If we are already One, no point making a fuss about it in the first place.

Stop seeing Malaysia as a bowl of sand, but mud. We stick together no matter what circumstances.

This is what change meant. Us Malaysians being ONE.

I AM SAM.

YOU ARE SAM.

WE ARE ALL SAM.

Written On

30 August 2015

APA Referencing

Warren. (2015, August 29). Image Retrieved from Facebook.

黃威爾. (2015, August 29). Will黃威爾. Image Retrieved from Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/musicwill/photos/a.337875576110.198816.24993821110/10154068425701111/?type=1&theater 

Gambling?!

When gambling is no longer a game, what is gambling?

Everybody hates people who gamble, especially those who are addictive gamblers.
Reason being there are a lot of cases of death caused by gambling, a lot of cases of abuse caused by gambling, a lot of cases of family break-ups caused by gambling...and a lot more of fatal and negative cases caused by gambling.
Nothing good came out from being a gambler I assumed, so its kinda okay to hate those who gamble, right?
Well, yes, you have the rights, but will you still hate gamblers if I am to put it this way.....?

First, gambling does not only happen in casinos, lottery shops, underground casinos or any legal or illegal gambling centres that involved money, gambling is somehow our life, what we experience on a daily basis.
From the moment you open your eyes, our life has been a gamble all along, haven't you notice?
When you wake you, sometimes you struggle if you want to lay for 5 minutes more, that is a struggle, or should I say a gamble? Because if you sleep for that 5 minutes, you are actually gambling with the traffic, as we all know a few minutes during peak hours really make a big difference in the traffic, so this is a gamble.
You are gambling between being late or not being late, this is the first thing we do when we wake up and its already been a gamble.
Then, you would have breakfast, you will then be struggling what to eat, a cup of coffee and a few biscuits, at Mc Donalds or Subway, or just not to eat any. This is what we struggle right? But where is the gamble part here? Well, same concept with 5 minutes of sleep, to be late or not to be late? That's truely a question right haha
Well, some say this only subject to those who have no responsible with life, because if they know they need to go to work or school, they must have the responsibility to wake up earlier to avoid being late, so its a choice, not a gamble...
Fair enough, but the statement able is already a type of gambling right? I mean the choice between being responsible or not, a gamble, solid one indeed! Gamble here doesn't mean to be responsible or not, but the consequences that leads behind, if one is responsible, they are being labelled as a good person and not responsible is being otherwise.
So the significant difference in between a choice and a gamble is if they are aware about the consequences that leads or the emotional roller-coaster created during the process. For example, telling a white lie, to tell or not is the choice but to be aware of the consequences is a gamble, because it can be either positive or negative, there is no SURE answer when a person's emotions are involved.
So this is how the a gamble works, the decision is decided based on thoughts and awareness towards the situation and the subject we are facing.

And anyhow in life, we will face a lot of challenges and hardships, and how we decide to solve them are all a gamble we decided to take.
For instance, those who wants to loose weight, they will be consistently be gambling about controlling their appetite so they are able to fit in nice clothes or to enjoy their life as we only live once and to not regret not eating for the sake of clothes.
For those who is opening a business, it is what we define gamble as, because when you start your business, no one can ensure the business will be successful or not, but having the courage and to trust ourselves is a big gamble, and this is the only gamble that when you loose, it causes the most severe financial damage ever.
For those who are struggling to get a good CGPA, their gamble is on time. Because being a university student, it is important to have great memory and build relationships, have fun and learn something practical and not dead boring theories from the textbooks. Time passes by fast, and when it is really over, you will notice that you have not been able to have a memorable university life, and that sense of emptiness is no joke. This is one of the gambles you invest a lot in of time in and when regret hits, the feeling of disappointment is so huge that when you recall about it, nothing more came up other than those days you study study study and study, just for the sake of a 4.0 CGPA.
But here is the ironic part, because nothing stated good result = good job performance, good result = to good pay, good result = high position, good result = abilities. Of course, the gamble is not asking to fail your schools, but live as it is, do your very best during university periods and let fate do the job.

As a student myself, this is the most useless gamble of all, because this is what Chinese families taught their children, that good results = good future, but they forgotten in every person's life, memories are as well.
After all, gambling is not a decision making process but a decision making channel, a channel where the consequences are all depended on their FATE.
Yes, gambling is about fate indeed, no one can control it and no one is able to control it; Fate is what decides it anyway....LOL


Written On

22 August 2015


APA Referencing

Wei, J. L. (2013, October 31). GAMBLING (PROBLEM GAMBLING). Image Retrieved from Full of Emotion: https://emojon.wordpress.com/2013/10/31/gambling-problem-gambling/ 

My Birthday...

“Today is my birthday

あなたは覚えていますか

But I'm...

慣れてる... 独りぼっちで過ごすのが...

会いたいよ... 諦められないあなたが...

Why did you leave me

言うほど 届かないどこへ...

Should I forgot you 

泣くほど 消えていくあなた...
My Birthday - FT Island”

Today is my birthday

Do you remember it?

But I'm…

spending… here all alone…

I want to see you… I can't give up on you…

Why did you leave me?

It's too much that it can't reach you, where are you?…

Should I forget you?

You're fading and I cried so much…
My Birthday - FT Island

You can choose to listen to the song while reading this blog post, maybe it will trigger you feelings as I have!

A lot might think, a song about birthdays huh, it must be something happy.

Well, nope. This song is nothing happy or sweet, it is about celebrating your birthday without the people you love the most together with you. It is pure pain and heartaches.

WHY?! Why make a painful birthday song?

I guess the song writer wants the public to remember what does it mean to celebrate your birthday.

With the new trends nowadays, everyone's values and habits while celebrating birthday's have change a lot. Instead of celebrating with families, most of them celebrate first with friends, and families will only celebrate after that.

Is this right? I remember one of my friends telling me that she is celebrating her birthday with her friends, I asked how about your family? Are you celebrating together? She said, nope, why would I ever want to celebrate with my family? I would rather have fun with my friends because I can't 'be myself' when I am with my family, they are control freaks.

Yes, I understand that feeling, but since when did a birthday celebration be celebrated without one's family members? Is this like the new trend nowadays?

Have they forgotten what their families have done to make them who they are now? Is all the hard work forgotten when you are growing up? Have memories fade so fast?

The first time when I saw the name of the song, immediately I think of a happy song, but when I listen to it, feeling were brought out, it reminds me of the times I have not been able to celebrate with my family, not because I choose friends or anything, but because I have not been able to be with them during my birthday...

And because of this, whenever I see people decided to celebrate their birthdays with their friends or boyfriend instead of their family, I wonder if they understand the consequences that comes later, because time doesn't go in reverse mode, what that has past is not going to happen again.

Life is a choice, and time is what determines your choices. If you made a good choice, then the time you spend will be much more meaningful compared if you made the wrong choice. But mistaken are allowed to be made just make sure you change it when you notice it.

Actually this is those songs that inserts meaning to your life, making you remember what is the core meaning towards a certain condition.
For example, in the lyrics, it said do you remember it? Has it been so long that they have already forgotten about your birthday? I guess not, because you are family, and I bet are the ones that remembers your birthday without any reminder from FaceBook or any applications out there.
It also said that they are celebrating it all alone, this is mainly caused by yourself. Because after a certain amount of time, relationships between you and your family fades and it then creates a barrier in between and this is when it is hard to pull the relationship close again. It takes time, but time has been running away, and later on what is left is you and you yourself. If you still could not give up on them, please make effort to mend the fading relationship, because I bet if you ask anyone that has experience their close ones leaving them, they will say that not being able to spend enough time with their love ones is the thing that causes regret. And I might add, time is never enough when it is with your families.
Sometimes, families leave you, because of the mistakes you did or if you have pushed them away? Anyway, if they leave you, is it their fault? To me, this is when the regret part comes in, because this is when your hardwork doesn't pay off and you are still alone. What you have done is not making any good and you are starting to get lost, lost in the sense you don't know if going back to them is possible, lost in the sense you do not know if you have any families anymore? Or lost in the sense that you are confused about where you belong to. Lost until you can't reach out to them anymore.
Then the worst is when you are struggling if you should just let it be, because the communication between is fading away, the connections in between are fading away, the strong bond in between is fading away, and until then tears are what is left.
I guess this is not what birthdays are meant to be, because if birthdays are the reasons causing this hardships in a relationship, it would be meaningless to even celebrate birthdays.

Birthdays are the times you recall the things your family has done for you, the pain your mother went through just to get you to this world, the time, the patience, the love your family gave you and the importance of having them in your life.
Family makes you complete, family makes you whole.
So next time when you celebrate your birthday, rethink of the person you want to spend it with, they will appreciate it to the fullest and cherish those memories till the end.


Written On

16 August 2015


APA Referencing

Jae, M. (2015, July 7). FTISLAND - My birthday (Sub English & Español). Retrieved from YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSR04cHbUU8

mojim, & makikawaii-jklyrics.BP. (2015, May 13). FT Island – My Birthday. Retrieved from ♪TUNE UP♪: https://tuneuplyrics.wordpress.com/2015/05/20/ft-island-my-birthday/ 

The Goldfish Memory

A lot say a goldfish has a memory span of 7 seconds. Only 7 short seconds, is this a good thing or a bad thing? What will you choose is you were given a second chance to choose life? To be human or to be a goldfish?

If you choose to be a human, you will have the ability to remember all the happy memories such as being praised in being good when you are a little kid, having the memories of visiting to those awesome countries, surprise parties your friends and families made for you, the times where you were being loved and many many more.
Then there is anger, those emotions that will only caused by memories that you have been keeping to yourself for a certain period of time and when the day you could not hold it anymore, you explode. And when that happens, you will cause bad bad bad memories that you wish you had never experienced before and it is a two way experience where the same emotions effects the other person as well.
Last would of course be sad moments, these are the times you wish you could forget for the rest of your life, for example heart breaks given by the ones you loved, failures in life, deaths, disappointments and a lot more heart aching moments that you wish you could be a goldfish forever.

So, is it so good to be able to be a goldfish other than a human?
Recently I had a talk with my close buddy, she told me her experienced where she was dumped by her boyfriend, she was so in love with him that she said she could not live without him and do not know how she would be without him accompanying her. She said if she had the chance she would rather choose to be a goldfish, because she is able to refresh her memory immediately after 7 seconds and she will only be in pain for 7 seconds.

The moment I heard her saying this I smiled. She thought I was so cruel that I was laughing at her heart breaks, but in fact, I am laughing at her being so pure with life. This is a complicated world and she is able to kept such pure heart is truly something awesome.
She asked why, I did not say anything but I asked a question: Do you remember loving him? She did not understand why I asked such question so I told her my thoughts.
'In this world, if you were a goldfish with only 7 seconds of memory would you have the chance to be in love with him? Or only being in love for 7 seconds is already enough for you? If you were a goldfish with 7 seconds of memory would you be able to remember all the happy moments you have cherish so much with him? Or are all those memories not important or memorable at all that you hope it would be deleted from your memory after just 7 seconds? Yes, you might encounter sadness or anger, but if you were only a goldfish with 7 seconds of memory, you would have no memory of who he is, and worst memory of who you are. Is remembering who you are so frustrated that you wish to forget yourself after just 7 seconds since your birth? Are you so unappreciated that you would want to just remember yourself for 7 seconds? In your whole life span, is 7 seconds for everything really enough for you?'

For me, 7 seconds is just too short for me to do anything, I am not able to remember what I love, what I am passionate about, what my abilities are, all my experiences, and myself. I am not given the chance to remember anything. I really can't imagine what would I be without memories.
Yes you might be hurt sometimes, and would want these memories out of your life, but by remembering it, you would know how to be grateful of what you had and know what does it means to be alive. Because without memories, you would be just like a robot.
A robot without feelings and emotions. A robot without identity.
Actually by having memories, we are able to learn how to balance out emotions and thinkings. For instance we would know that happy moments are more important and is something more memorable, therefore you can use happy memories to overlap your unhappy thoughts. It is effective because if your are able to put your bad memories aside, you will be choosing happy over sad and that decision is done by having memories and past experiences.

Humans; a species that is given the chance to choose happiness or sadness.
During my secondary years, I was in a situation where I am being so sad and emotionally down for my whole form 5 year. I experienced a relationship split, a death from my most loved grandmother and a boycott from almost the whole form 5 students. It is really emotionally abusive indeed.
I was so sad but I am not given the chance to express my feeling so I kept it all to myself and cried myself to bed for a very long period of time.
Then, I tell myself I need to change. Not my personality to please the others, but my mindset. The choice of being a goldfish towards my sad and angry memories. It might sound impossible, but it works.
How?
Well, first is to be grateful, always be grateful. Because one can only be happy if your are satisfied with your life and what you already have. Second is to find your passion, do what you love and find love in what you are doing. Because by doing what you love, you are able to open up your mind and make your life meaningful again, and at that moment, I rediscovered music :D Third is to read, yeah yeah I know, reading is boring, but reading does help. Not motivational books, any books will do. Me myself, I love novels, romantic, horror, investigation and family related ones. Books that inspires you, books that help you rethink your actions and ways of seeing things, because by changing your perspectives, you are able to change and choose happiness.
Last but not least, is to choose. Choose the life you wanted to live, the things you wanted to remember and certainly the 'you' you want to be. When you encounter sadness, sit back relax and chill. Or just simply to K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple Stupid). When your mindset is simple, you can easily filter out bad memories and forget things you want to forget. Or even choose to not remember when it is already happening, this is really good way to stay happy.

So you do not need to be a goldfish to filter out sad memories, you can be you and learn the filtering skills later haha
It needs some time but it is definitely worth it.
Well, it has some negative effects though.....What? Well, later you would know you would have bad bad memory. Like what my brother said, I need blueberries (like a lot) because my memory is so bad now I could not remember anything >< Yeah, I only remember what I want to remember, and most of them aren't stuff I want to remember so yeah......hehe


Written On

9 August 2015


APA Referencing:

Mortensen, P. (2010, June 9). Goldfish Memory. Image Retrieved from The Fishbowl Experiment: http://fishbowlexperiment.com/