Love Inspires

What is cancer? I guess everyone would be thinking about deaths, severe diseases and such, but to me, its different.
Why? Well, of course its not because of Cancer itself, but because of a Cancer victim who I will remember for the rest of my life. She, is my Grandmother.

She is such an incredible women, she fought with cancer like it was nothing;
She gone through a lot of pain but still manage to bare with it, as according to the doctors, cancer is a very painful sickness. Cancer patients usually screams and shouts a lot because even with Morphines, the pain is still extremely over the top.
Even the doctor was in awe, he told us he never saw a patient that can bare with so much of pain and still managed to smile and talk when we are in the ward.
But she always asked us to visit her less because the travel distance form our home is not near, but now I knew what is the REAL reason behind. It is because she was in too much pain but do not want us to worry so much so she acted that she was feeling okay.
Because of this, I learnt to be strong. Cause we easily feel defeated especially when we are in a bad situation. I use to be that kind of people too. But I changed.
How can you feel bad or defeated when there is someone being this positive and caring at the same time and is facing something so bad that it will unfortunately take your life away from you.

Although it has been years since her death, but sometimes when I close my eyes and think of her, it feels like she is still here with me. Like she never really left.
I still remember the night before she passed away, she was discharged from the hospital, but she couldn't breath so there is a breathing tank for her.
With her condition, she could not stand one minute without the help from the tank.
But the most amazing thing happened, as when she reach home, she needs to discharge from the tank as she needs to walk from the car to the house. Other than the breathing, she isn't suppose to be able to even walk! But because she is that amazing, she not only walked, but walked without the breathing tank!
She is so sick, but she still manage to do such amazing things that sometimes a normal sick person is unable to do.
So, no healthy person has the rights to end their life or even say things that are negative. Cause she, who has both Breast and Lung cancer did not give up how can you?

When she is in the house, she saw me and my brother. She was so happy and excited at the same time!
Cause we study in Taiping (A small place in Perak) for our secondary studies, so we have not much time together, especially when she diagnosed with Breast Cancer.
We were very close cause we are raised in Kuala Lumpur and she is the one that brought us up.

I remember her sitting on the bamboo chair, and I was sitting next to her, she called my name, she smiled and she took my hand! She has not much strength left because she just walked and she still looked pale and tired a second ago, but not when she saw us.
But what made me so happy and sad at the same moment was when she saw my brother and she literally sat up and took my brother's hand. Yes, she sat up. How did she manage to do it is so incredible!
Although you might say its a miracle, but I believe she is the one that gave all her strength just to hold my brother's hand.
She is so ill, but because of love, she did a lot of things that sometimes cannot be done by a normal person. She is such an inspiration to me.

She thought me how to be positive and stay positive even when you are not in good conditions,
She thought me to be strong no matter what and to be someone else's source of happiness, cause when life knocks you down you can choose to fall or get back up.

Until now, I still cries whenever I think of her.
Even when I am writing this post, I shed a few tears when I recall memories of her.

Be the one that gives less worries to others, be the one that gives others strength to move on.
Be just like her, this remarkable women; My Lovely Grandmother.

To me, lessons are those that will stay inside our mind no matter how much time has passed.
To me, inspiration are those that will keep you MOTIVATED and 'ALIVE' even if they are not here anymore.
To me, this is beyond inspiration. THIS IS LOVE, because love is the only thing that can be always there even when they aren't there. Love is the only thing that will keep reminding us about things, memories, lessons, and of course them.

Love is Inspiration. Love is Infinite.


Written On

21 June 2015