Emptiness.......

What is emptiness?
Well, some say love, some say family, but to me, I say friends.

Yeah, a lot can't understand why, but friends are a very important aspect in my life.
Because friends are the ones that reflects who you are, cause the same characteristics attract the same people, so of there are no friends, who is there to portray who you are anymore?

This is quote, and it totally explains what an empty friendship feels like.......
Recently, I have this particular feeling towards my ex-college mates, we use to be so close that we are able to share everything and I mean EVERYTHING.
Well, now, its totally different.
Just because of the time we have not been able to meet up and share our thoughts made us so far apart that you can now feel the gap in between.

Although this is the process of life but it is so unfair for a human being to feel so many departures in one lifetime.
First there is the departure with our family members, no matter moving out from our home or loved ones passing away. Second, the departure of the ones we thought made us complete, our lovers. Love made two strangers so close but still could not have a happy ending therefore parting has been the only ending to some unfortunate relationships. Then there are departure from friends, the ones we believe have connections the most, from the heart or soul.
Friends are the people that not only give you inspiration, but entertainment, love, care, support and any form of happiness or support you could ever imagine of. So, having such emptiness now really makes my emotions down and somehow its been hard to had a real smile even.
Well, you can say I am too sentimental, and I don't deny it at all. Cause of being sentimental, I have friends that really had that soulmate-relationship, I am so lucky to have find those people but now, I feel unfortunate as well because mentally to me, I feel like I have lost them.
My mental support team has gone and what left feels like an empty human-shell walking as if I have no emotions or to say have forgotten what do emotions felt like. Have lost the ability to feel I guess.... :(

When does this feelings feel most real?
Well, a lot might say: It's when you see them sharing photos of new friends, new places, new clothes you have never seen, new people, new everything but without you there.
Yes, this is really sad, but to me, the time you feel the particular feeling is when you see them sharing the same photos that we use to make fun about, but this time tagging same bunch of people but sharing jokes that you don't understand. Visiting the place you use to go together but this time you are not there with them, wearing the clothes you use to call our looks but this time its with other people, spending time with the people you all call friends but you aren't one of them.
This to me is the most heartbreaking. And now with all the technology, its impossible to avoid seeing those moments of them without you there.
Well, of course. One can say: Ahhhhhhh they are still the same you are just over thinking. I agree, but the truth strikes when the awkward feeling starts to show whenever you see their post on FaceBook or Instagram, it is then you know the invisible wall is starting to build and it is getting more and more solid as the day goes by.

Sometimes you still try to reach out, because its the only chance you have....you tried to comment on their posts, you try to Whatsapp them...but when you get no replies, the only feeling felt are emptiness.
A lot say it is time when you learn to move on, but why do we need to ever feel anything like this? Isn't it unfair? Why should life be so much sadness?

Okay. The life-talk comes in now......

The only thing that makes life interesting is when there are combinations of feeling and experience, yes I know. I always did, but its still hard for me to digest this.....
Only time can make it fade....I guess?


Written On

12 July 2015


APA Referencing:

lovely.poem. (2015, June). Image Retrieved from Instagram:
https://instagram.com/p/3OtlfDhy87/