There has been a new trend, a trend of getting a degree or higher level certificate, a trend of getting good grades.
Some say its purposed to get a good job, some say its one's responsibility to get into good school then universities, but I say, it is definitely A NEW TREND.
Why? Well, because we of the education system nowadays, it is changing the true meaning of education. And I would want to add that it is not a good change.
A lot say if you want to success, you need to study, and of course excel in them as well.
I agree, but I have to disagree first to agree.
First, the education system now is forming people that are arrogant and think of themselves as 'smarty-pants'. Because they are in the science field it doesn't mean those in the art stream are stupid people, but this is what they are being compared against.
Like what the adults say, 'Oh you are studying medic / engineering / science stuff, you must be smart' 'Ahh you are studying communication? What does that do.....?' What will it lead to? Comparison between the subjects and the person as well.
It will definitely make the art student feel as they aren't as good as the science student right? Actually everyone is smart in their own way, why compare?
From personal experience, we went to do a survey for one of our research assignments, we met some medic students, and you can guess what happen next. One of the students smirked and say 'Why so serious about this? This isn't medic stuff, just simply fill up and get done with it'. I got stunned and mad, how can he say that? How can he think that other courses' work, studies or research are useless? And how can he said that out loud without even think about our feelings? Does he think that being a medic student himself meant he is better than us?
This is one of the biggest flaw in the education system nowadays, it is also the most disrespectful.
Second, is about the teaching style of each university.
I myself have been a diploma student from KDU University, and now as a student of UTAR, I was quite shocked about how knowledge is being disseminated to the students here. It is unbelievable that this many people think UTAR as a good place to study despite comparing the teaching style and content in other colleges or universities.
The most significant difference is the way they interpret efficiency. In most universities or colleges, the way they educate us to complete our assignments are by using the fastest way but with the knowledge we should know as well. For example, in KDU, our first class was about academic writing. It taught us how to write and do correct reference, and of course how to make us more efficient which is to use the Microsoft Word built in function to do the reference. While in UTAR, class were being conducted to do work the hard way. To write reference by hand, actually its is not a big deal but think about it, when you are to work in the society or do your master or PHD paper, there will be tons of references that needed to be written and without the knowledge of being able to do it with a software, hours will be spend doing it especially when there are more than 100 references used.
Again this is from my personal experience, I taught one of my friends in UTAR about this function and when she submitted her work, her lecture scolded her and said this is unacceptable and asked her to redo her report? WHAT?! In fact what is wrong with doing reference in such a way? Is it because UTAR is so stubborn or rigid so they are being known as a good university?
Third is about exams, this is another thing I am disappointed about UTAR.
Because when you write what you understand you are wrong, only when you write what is written in the slides or textbooks are RIGHT! Again, what? Unacceptable!
Because to me, understanding is more important than memorizing. As memorizing is just basically forcing your brain to remember what you want to remember and not understanding it which is much more useful as after you understand it, you will not only remember, you will also be able to put yourself in that situation and recall what that is needed to whenever you want to.
So, if understanding is so important, why is writing down what you understood is considered wrong?
Another experience from my friend, she wrote what she understood similar to be answer but not identical. But before that, the question was super simple, 'Write down a type of media used for this process.' She wrote Television. Guess what? Her answer was wrong, because it was not written in the marking scheme, as the answer in the marking scheme was Radio. WOW!! Such a big difference right? LOL
University is supposed to be a place that teaches us knowledge as well as hands on practical skills to be used in our future, but from what I have experienced, UTAR is a university that limits students.
Since when does a university or such schooling environment makes a successful person? I don't even dare to comment about it.
Because for your info, a good student (with super high CGPA or good results) doesn't make a good person neither does it make a good employee or good human being. As a good student is just nothing more than a good student, someone who is able to study and study and study and study, oh almost forgotten, other than study they are able to memorize and able to write what they memorize during exams. They are such good students no doubt huh.
But rethink about it, is CGPA that important? Is having good results that important?
Has anyone noticed that the suicidal percentage has been increasing? Has no one notice any glitch that needs to be fixed?
Is this sort of education system good for us, or for our next generation?
Please rethink and if nothing has changed, then maybe this is why Malaysia has stayed this way for such a long time. HA!
Written On
6 September 2015
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Rules
In this society, we have been govern by a lot of rules and regulations, because this is what makes us a better person.
Rules is the only thing that keeps us in line, keeps us good.It is also the only thing that is making us different from one another, because we are controlled by different rules.
Sometimes when they are controlled by rules, if the person obeys the rules then they are good people, and those that did not follow are showing bad results.
To me, rules are important and we need to follow them, but actually I don't feel as it is something necessary, because it causes the reverse effect for most of the time.
What do I mean by that?
Well, rules make us better humans, because without rules we are no different than animals right? Don't want to make it as if its a joke, because with or without rules, human are different (Obviously!)
So why do we need rules?
First, is for the authorities to control us. To make it simple, in a family, our parents set rules, and we must follow those rules, if not we are considered as a bad child.
For example, rule is set to study at 5pm in the evening, so you study during that time. But I want to study at night, so I did not follow the rule and my parents think I did not study. This is really bad for the child actually, why? Well, everyone has their own way of studying, so what if they enjoy to study at night when its quiet and cold, does this mean because they did not study during 5 they are wrong?
Here is the side effect of having rules and forcing people to follow them without them willing to. A child has passion to study at night, but being forced to study in the evening will only cause them to actually lost passion in studying and patience towards the family will also be affected.
Besides being in a family, a lot are also being monitored by their schools or work force, this is to make sure that everyone is doing a good job. Yes, but actually it is causing bad effects as well, especially in schools.
Because a lot of young teens are really rebel during this period, so they tend to do what is said forbidden.
Okay, this is the part where I argue my own statement, because in this society, rules are actually important, to keep us from being bad, or at least doing bad stuff. But to the children, they are suppose to get these education from home, right? Why see it as if schools are the only place for that? As a parent what should and should not be done so just past that knowledge on and on and on.
Rules are needed to make a country, a society.
But it is not made to control, or even worst to force people.
Rules are being misuse by the people nowadays, that is why more and more cases are popping up and more of them are cases done by teens or young adults.
Like what we say, whenever someone say no too frequently about the same thing, they will get fed up and they will then be rebellion and start to plan some 'evil scheme' to 'get back' to their parents or the ones that issue those rules.
Rules need to be used with a bright and clear mind. So they know how to make a better person by then choosing to be 'controlled' rather than forced to be controlled.
Rules are made to differentiate us, so just make good use of it all our special and different personalities will appear and the easier it is to get along with the people in the world.
Because rules help us acknowledge as well.
Written On
5 September 2015
APA Referencing
Merhar, C. (2014,
April 2). Small Business Employee Benefits and HR Blog. Image Retrieved from
Zane Benefits:
http://www.zanebenefits.com/blog/fsa-balance-rollover-hsa-contribution-rules
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Bersih 4.0
But apparently, some think otherwise.
They say this is going to cause racial issues! And Bersih assembles
us as Malaysians so they say it is better to not use our surnames as our
profile picture because the Malays or Indians might get offended.
Well, when this post saying this might cause racial issues I
see a lot of people taking this picture down and changing to something more
general like 'We Are Malaysian' 'Saya Anak Malaysia' and many more. I don't
mean it is wrong to change the picture, but I just don't feel like using your
name is a racial issue.
Different races represents Malaysia as Malaysia and in fact Malaysia is a multi-racial country. In heart we all know we ARE Malaysians. If one picture of one's names can affect the 'semangat' of Bersih or affect the feelings of the other race, then the change we have wanted has not been made.
Because to accept different races is the first step of
change. And the creator of the Chinese Surname picture, Warren (if I am not
mistaken), did not even meant to disrespect in the first place, so why
interpret as so?
As Malaysians, why worry about such things when there is
actually more severe situations that one should consider worrying about? The
meaning of having the Bersih rally will not change regardless our race
nonetheless our surname.
For my opinion, those that attended the Bersih rally are
aware of the condition and they went because they knew us as one and most
importantly, they understand us as we have been living under this big roof for
quite some time.
So, the ones that think it will lead to racial issues are either not 'semangat' enough, not changing in heart, not believing we are able to make change or just thinking Malaysians as those glass-hearted ding-dongs that do not know how to think as Malaysians but those that will only think on behalf of their own race.
So, the ones that think it will lead to racial issues are either not 'semangat' enough, not changing in heart, not believing we are able to make change or just thinking Malaysians as those glass-hearted ding-dongs that do not know how to think as Malaysians but those that will only think on behalf of their own race.
If I am to quote words from Mr Obama and Mr Lee Kuan Yew, a
nation that is not united will never succeed. I believe Malaysia is changing,
and us as Malaysians will not act as puppets that can be easily controlled by
others, we are in the end all educated (at least from my family members that went
to the rally told me those that attended Bersih 4.0 are all educated).
We, Malaysians have change to become one and we all want change and the first step of change is to ACCEPT. Accept the differences and whatever happens will not be a racial issue because we ARE already one. And I believe the ones that went to the rally or believe in Bersih will not be so easily manipulated by such things.
Like I said and it is so obvious that Malaysia is a
multi-racial country, we do not need to forget who we are because of Bersih.
This is in fact the most special factor of being Malaysian, because this is
what makes us who we are.
And the reason we want change is because we wanted to
protect our country Malaysia, a multi-racial country call Malaysia. So why be
sensitive and make anything racial? If we are already One, no point making a
fuss about it in the first place.
This is what change meant. Us Malaysians being ONE.
I AM SAM.
YOU ARE SAM.
WE ARE ALL SAM.
Written On
30 August 2015
APA Referencing
Warren. (2015,
August 29). Image Retrieved from Facebook.
黃威爾. (2015, August 29). Will黃威爾. Image Retrieved from Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/musicwill/photos/a.337875576110.198816.24993821110/10154068425701111/?type=1&theater
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Gambling?!
When gambling is no longer a game, what is gambling?
Everybody hates people who gamble, especially those who are addictive gamblers.
Reason being there are a lot of cases of death caused by gambling, a lot of cases of abuse caused by gambling, a lot of cases of family break-ups caused by gambling...and a lot more of fatal and negative cases caused by gambling.
Nothing good came out from being a gambler I assumed, so its kinda okay to hate those who gamble, right?
Well, yes, you have the rights, but will you still hate gamblers if I am to put it this way.....?
First, gambling does not only happen in casinos, lottery shops, underground casinos or any legal or illegal gambling centres that involved money, gambling is somehow our life, what we experience on a daily basis.
From the moment you open your eyes, our life has been a gamble all along, haven't you notice?
When you wake you, sometimes you struggle if you want to lay for 5 minutes more, that is a struggle, or should I say a gamble? Because if you sleep for that 5 minutes, you are actually gambling with the traffic, as we all know a few minutes during peak hours really make a big difference in the traffic, so this is a gamble.
You are gambling between being late or not being late, this is the first thing we do when we wake up and its already been a gamble.
Then, you would have breakfast, you will then be struggling what to eat, a cup of coffee and a few biscuits, at Mc Donalds or Subway, or just not to eat any. This is what we struggle right? But where is the gamble part here? Well, same concept with 5 minutes of sleep, to be late or not to be late? That's truely a question right haha
Well, some say this only subject to those who have no responsible with life, because if they know they need to go to work or school, they must have the responsibility to wake up earlier to avoid being late, so its a choice, not a gamble...
Fair enough, but the statement able is already a type of gambling right? I mean the choice between being responsible or not, a gamble, solid one indeed! Gamble here doesn't mean to be responsible or not, but the consequences that leads behind, if one is responsible, they are being labelled as a good person and not responsible is being otherwise.
So the significant difference in between a choice and a gamble is if they are aware about the consequences that leads or the emotional roller-coaster created during the process. For example, telling a white lie, to tell or not is the choice but to be aware of the consequences is a gamble, because it can be either positive or negative, there is no SURE answer when a person's emotions are involved.
So this is how the a gamble works, the decision is decided based on thoughts and awareness towards the situation and the subject we are facing.
And anyhow in life, we will face a lot of challenges and hardships, and how we decide to solve them are all a gamble we decided to take.
For instance, those who wants to loose weight, they will be consistently be gambling about controlling their appetite so they are able to fit in nice clothes or to enjoy their life as we only live once and to not regret not eating for the sake of clothes.
For those who is opening a business, it is what we define gamble as, because when you start your business, no one can ensure the business will be successful or not, but having the courage and to trust ourselves is a big gamble, and this is the only gamble that when you loose, it causes the most severe financial damage ever.
For those who are struggling to get a good CGPA, their gamble is on time. Because being a university student, it is important to have great memory and build relationships, have fun and learn something practical and not dead boring theories from the textbooks. Time passes by fast, and when it is really over, you will notice that you have not been able to have a memorable university life, and that sense of emptiness is no joke. This is one of the gambles you invest a lot in of time in and when regret hits, the feeling of disappointment is so huge that when you recall about it, nothing more came up other than those days you study study study and study, just for the sake of a 4.0 CGPA.
But here is the ironic part, because nothing stated good result = good job performance, good result = to good pay, good result = high position, good result = abilities. Of course, the gamble is not asking to fail your schools, but live as it is, do your very best during university periods and let fate do the job.
As a student myself, this is the most useless gamble of all, because this is what Chinese families taught their children, that good results = good future, but they forgotten in every person's life, memories are as well.
After all, gambling is not a decision making process but a decision making channel, a channel where the consequences are all depended on their FATE.
Yes, gambling is about fate indeed, no one can control it and no one is able to control it; Fate is what decides it anyway....LOL
Written On
22 August 2015
APA Referencing
Wei, J. L. (2013,
October 31). GAMBLING (PROBLEM GAMBLING). Image Retrieved from Full of
Emotion: https://emojon.wordpress.com/2013/10/31/gambling-problem-gambling/
Sunday, August 16, 2015
My Birthday...
“Today is my birthday
あなたは覚えていますか
But I'm...
慣れてる... 独りぼっちで過ごすのが...
会いたいよ... 諦められないあなたが...
Why did you leave me
言うほど 届かないどこへ...
Should I forgot you
泣くほど 消えていくあなた
My Birthday - FT Island”
My Birthday - FT Island”
Today is my
birthday
Do you
remember it?
But I'm…
spending…
here all alone…
I want to
see you… I can't give up on you…
Why did you
leave me?
It's too
much that it can't reach you, where are you?…
Should I
forget you?
You're
fading and I cried so much…
My Birthday - FT Island
My Birthday - FT Island
You can choose to listen to the song while reading this blog post, maybe it will trigger you feelings as I have!
A lot might think, a song about birthdays huh, it must be
something happy.
Well, nope. This song is nothing happy or sweet, it is about
celebrating your birthday without the people you love the most together with
you. It is pure pain and heartaches.
WHY?! Why make a painful birthday song?
I guess the song writer wants the public to remember what
does it mean to celebrate your birthday.
With the new trends nowadays, everyone's values and habits
while celebrating birthday's have change a lot. Instead of celebrating with
families, most of them celebrate first with friends, and families will only
celebrate after that.
Is this right? I remember one of my friends telling me that
she is celebrating her birthday with her friends, I asked how about your
family? Are you celebrating together? She said, nope, why would I ever want to
celebrate with my family? I would rather have fun with my friends because I
can't 'be myself' when I am with my family, they are control freaks.
Yes, I understand that feeling, but since when did a
birthday celebration be celebrated without one's family members? Is this like
the new trend nowadays?
Have they forgotten what their families have done to make
them who they are now? Is all the hard work forgotten when you are growing up?
Have memories fade so fast?
The first time when I saw the name of the song, immediately
I think of a happy song, but when I listen to it, feeling were brought out, it
reminds me of the times I have not been able to celebrate with my family, not
because I choose friends or anything, but because I have not been able to be
with them during my birthday...
And because of this, whenever I see people decided to
celebrate their birthdays with their friends or boyfriend instead of their
family, I wonder if they understand the consequences that comes later, because
time doesn't go in reverse mode, what that has past is not going to happen
again.
Life is a choice, and time is what determines your choices.
If you made a good choice, then the time you spend will be much more meaningful
compared if you made the wrong choice. But mistaken are allowed to be made just make sure you change it when you notice it.
Actually this is those songs that inserts meaning to your life, making you remember what is the core meaning towards a certain condition.
For example, in the lyrics, it said do you remember it? Has it been so long that they have already forgotten about your birthday? I guess not, because you are family, and I bet are the ones that remembers your birthday without any reminder from FaceBook or any applications out there.
It also said that they are celebrating it all alone, this is mainly caused by yourself. Because after a certain amount of time, relationships between you and your family fades and it then creates a barrier in between and this is when it is hard to pull the relationship close again. It takes time, but time has been running away, and later on what is left is you and you yourself. If you still could not give up on them, please make effort to mend the fading relationship, because I bet if you ask anyone that has experience their close ones leaving them, they will say that not being able to spend enough time with their love ones is the thing that causes regret. And I might add, time is never enough when it is with your families.
Sometimes, families leave you, because of the mistakes you did or if you have pushed them away? Anyway, if they leave you, is it their fault? To me, this is when the regret part comes in, because this is when your hardwork doesn't pay off and you are still alone. What you have done is not making any good and you are starting to get lost, lost in the sense you don't know if going back to them is possible, lost in the sense you do not know if you have any families anymore? Or lost in the sense that you are confused about where you belong to. Lost until you can't reach out to them anymore.
Then the worst is when you are struggling if you should just let it be, because the communication between is fading away, the connections in between are fading away, the strong bond in between is fading away, and until then tears are what is left.
I guess this is not what birthdays are meant to be, because if birthdays are the reasons causing this hardships in a relationship, it would be meaningless to even celebrate birthdays.
Birthdays are the times you recall the things your family has done for you, the pain your mother went through just to get you to this world, the time, the patience, the love your family gave you and the importance of having them in your life.
Family makes you complete, family makes you whole.
So next time when you celebrate your birthday, rethink of the person you want to spend it with, they will appreciate it to the fullest and cherish those memories till the end.
Written On
16 August 2015
APA Referencing
Actually this is those songs that inserts meaning to your life, making you remember what is the core meaning towards a certain condition.
For example, in the lyrics, it said do you remember it? Has it been so long that they have already forgotten about your birthday? I guess not, because you are family, and I bet are the ones that remembers your birthday without any reminder from FaceBook or any applications out there.
It also said that they are celebrating it all alone, this is mainly caused by yourself. Because after a certain amount of time, relationships between you and your family fades and it then creates a barrier in between and this is when it is hard to pull the relationship close again. It takes time, but time has been running away, and later on what is left is you and you yourself. If you still could not give up on them, please make effort to mend the fading relationship, because I bet if you ask anyone that has experience their close ones leaving them, they will say that not being able to spend enough time with their love ones is the thing that causes regret. And I might add, time is never enough when it is with your families.
Sometimes, families leave you, because of the mistakes you did or if you have pushed them away? Anyway, if they leave you, is it their fault? To me, this is when the regret part comes in, because this is when your hardwork doesn't pay off and you are still alone. What you have done is not making any good and you are starting to get lost, lost in the sense you don't know if going back to them is possible, lost in the sense you do not know if you have any families anymore? Or lost in the sense that you are confused about where you belong to. Lost until you can't reach out to them anymore.
Then the worst is when you are struggling if you should just let it be, because the communication between is fading away, the connections in between are fading away, the strong bond in between is fading away, and until then tears are what is left.
I guess this is not what birthdays are meant to be, because if birthdays are the reasons causing this hardships in a relationship, it would be meaningless to even celebrate birthdays.
Birthdays are the times you recall the things your family has done for you, the pain your mother went through just to get you to this world, the time, the patience, the love your family gave you and the importance of having them in your life.
Family makes you complete, family makes you whole.
So next time when you celebrate your birthday, rethink of the person you want to spend it with, they will appreciate it to the fullest and cherish those memories till the end.
Written On
16 August 2015
APA Referencing
Jae, M. (2015,
July 7). FTISLAND - My birthday (Sub English & Español). Retrieved
from YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSR04cHbUU8
mojim, &
makikawaii-jklyrics.BP. (2015, May 13). FT Island – My Birthday. Retrieved from ♪TUNE UP♪: https://tuneuplyrics.wordpress.com/2015/05/20/ft-island-my-birthday/
Sunday, August 9, 2015
The Goldfish Memory
A lot say a goldfish has a memory span of 7 seconds. Only 7 short seconds, is this a good thing or a bad thing? What will you choose is you were given a second chance to choose life? To be human or to be a goldfish?
If you choose to be a human, you will have the ability to remember all the happy memories such as being praised in being good when you are a little kid, having the memories of visiting to those awesome countries, surprise parties your friends and families made for you, the times where you were being loved and many many more.
Then there is anger, those emotions that will only caused by memories that you have been keeping to yourself for a certain period of time and when the day you could not hold it anymore, you explode. And when that happens, you will cause bad bad bad memories that you wish you had never experienced before and it is a two way experience where the same emotions effects the other person as well.
Last would of course be sad moments, these are the times you wish you could forget for the rest of your life, for example heart breaks given by the ones you loved, failures in life, deaths, disappointments and a lot more heart aching moments that you wish you could be a goldfish forever.
So, is it so good to be able to be a goldfish other than a human?
Recently I had a talk with my close buddy, she told me her experienced where she was dumped by her boyfriend, she was so in love with him that she said she could not live without him and do not know how she would be without him accompanying her. She said if she had the chance she would rather choose to be a goldfish, because she is able to refresh her memory immediately after 7 seconds and she will only be in pain for 7 seconds.
The moment I heard her saying this I smiled. She thought I was so cruel that I was laughing at her heart breaks, but in fact, I am laughing at her being so pure with life. This is a complicated world and she is able to kept such pure heart is truly something awesome.
She asked why, I did not say anything but I asked a question: Do you remember loving him? She did not understand why I asked such question so I told her my thoughts.
'In this world, if you were a goldfish with only 7 seconds of memory would you have the chance to be in love with him? Or only being in love for 7 seconds is already enough for you? If you were a goldfish with 7 seconds of memory would you be able to remember all the happy moments you have cherish so much with him? Or are all those memories not important or memorable at all that you hope it would be deleted from your memory after just 7 seconds? Yes, you might encounter sadness or anger, but if you were only a goldfish with 7 seconds of memory, you would have no memory of who he is, and worst memory of who you are. Is remembering who you are so frustrated that you wish to forget yourself after just 7 seconds since your birth? Are you so unappreciated that you would want to just remember yourself for 7 seconds? In your whole life span, is 7 seconds for everything really enough for you?'
For me, 7 seconds is just too short for me to do anything, I am not able to remember what I love, what I am passionate about, what my abilities are, all my experiences, and myself. I am not given the chance to remember anything. I really can't imagine what would I be without memories.
Yes you might be hurt sometimes, and would want these memories out of your life, but by remembering it, you would know how to be grateful of what you had and know what does it means to be alive. Because without memories, you would be just like a robot.
A robot without feelings and emotions. A robot without identity.
Actually by having memories, we are able to learn how to balance out emotions and thinkings. For instance we would know that happy moments are more important and is something more memorable, therefore you can use happy memories to overlap your unhappy thoughts. It is effective because if your are able to put your bad memories aside, you will be choosing happy over sad and that decision is done by having memories and past experiences.
Humans; a species that is given the chance to choose happiness or sadness.
During my secondary years, I was in a situation where I am being so sad and emotionally down for my whole form 5 year. I experienced a relationship split, a death from my most loved grandmother and a boycott from almost the whole form 5 students. It is really emotionally abusive indeed.
I was so sad but I am not given the chance to express my feeling so I kept it all to myself and cried myself to bed for a very long period of time.
Then, I tell myself I need to change. Not my personality to please the others, but my mindset. The choice of being a goldfish towards my sad and angry memories. It might sound impossible, but it works.
How?
Well, first is to be grateful, always be grateful. Because one can only be happy if your are satisfied with your life and what you already have. Second is to find your passion, do what you love and find love in what you are doing. Because by doing what you love, you are able to open up your mind and make your life meaningful again, and at that moment, I rediscovered music :D Third is to read, yeah yeah I know, reading is boring, but reading does help. Not motivational books, any books will do. Me myself, I love novels, romantic, horror, investigation and family related ones. Books that inspires you, books that help you rethink your actions and ways of seeing things, because by changing your perspectives, you are able to change and choose happiness.
Last but not least, is to choose. Choose the life you wanted to live, the things you wanted to remember and certainly the 'you' you want to be. When you encounter sadness, sit back relax and chill. Or just simply to K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple Stupid). When your mindset is simple, you can easily filter out bad memories and forget things you want to forget. Or even choose to not remember when it is already happening, this is really good way to stay happy.
So you do not need to be a goldfish to filter out sad memories, you can be you and learn the filtering skills later haha
It needs some time but it is definitely worth it.
Well, it has some negative effects though.....What? Well, later you would know you would have bad bad memory. Like what my brother said, I need blueberries (like a lot) because my memory is so bad now I could not remember anything >< Yeah, I only remember what I want to remember, and most of them aren't stuff I want to remember so yeah......hehe
Written On
9 August 2015
APA Referencing:
Mortensen, P.
(2010, June 9). Goldfish Memory. Image Retrieved from The Fishbowl
Experiment: http://fishbowlexperiment.com/
Friday, July 31, 2015
Family?
Have you ever had that feeling of meeting strangers?
The feeling of anxiousness and you are always concern about the things they say or do while you are present. That sense of awkwardness you feel, sometimes even uncomfortable being in a particular situation, but...is this what a person should feel whenever they are with their family?
Ermmm, of course not, like DUHH!
Your family grew with you, you live together, your family is what made you who you are standing in this world today, so in what context do you think you have the choice to even be uncomfortable with them. Moreover say that they are strangers?
If a person really say such things he or she must be categorised as an unfilial person, how can one say such to their flesh and blood?
I couldn't agree more, but somehow I need to deny it because I am in the category that thinks otherwise.....Why?
Well, in a person's life, we are not born with one family but two, we call them the mother's side and the father's side. Even if both families stay near to each other, there will be culture differences, there will also be a family where you meet more frequently, the family where you were being brought up with their culture and living attitudes, no doubt.
So, whenever you meet with the other family, at some point you will feel a slight distance as they are not the family you are used to be with, at least they are not the family who experienced all your worst times nor best times. Just a family you visit whenever there are any celebrations or festivals.
In some families, both families can be so close that everyone can mix and mingle so well, that is the best condition two families could be seen as, A Big Family.
But how many families can really be as such?
I do observe my cousin's family. *the cousin from my mother's side*
In my eyes, they are the One-Big-Family type, which is really good!
But, in everybody's heart, there must be something that we can't see, which is their feelings.
By chance, I got really close with my cousin, and sometimes when we have your lunch date or 'yumcha' session, we talk about our feelings. She said actually she have not visit her father's side for quite some time. I am a little surprise, cause they are that good big family to me, but in her heart, she would rather choose her boyfriend than to visit her father's family. I asked why, she said actually she had no choice, because both of them are now working and the only time she can meet with her boyfriend was on Saturdays. And her Sundays are given to her parents, its their family day.
I then understand, in everyone's heart, everything is given a level, some are meant to be higher than others. Some are meant to be left-a-side first if something more important is to be happening on the same day, and unfortunately, her father's side family day is to be on Saturday.......Well.....she is bad right? But if you want to take up something, you need to let go of some other things first, and this is what she did.
Sorry to say, but I will have to agree with her.
I myself is being placed in the same situation. Well, no, I don't have a boyfriend LOL
My situation is one of my cousin * my father's side* always asks me the same question: Why do you not call back to ask about your grandmother and this family's situation? I stunned and answered, cause I am busy. He knew I was in my sem break, so he was thinking that I was just trying to fool him. But I am indeed busy, I am working, so yes I am busy.
Plus, making phone calls on a weekly basis is not something I practice, and at some extend, maybe I was just mad, because when I move to Taiping to live with my father's family, I was not given much chance to visit my mother's family which is in KL and my grandma is a breast cancer patient.
So, that most important few years of her life, I was in Taiping, and I guess the not-calling-others culture was bread since I went to Taiping since Form 1 as well. Why? Cause my mother's side are the ones that will call me as they knew then I was young and I am of course not able to pay for the phone bills.
Here is something ironic, I was scolded by one of my aunts in Taiping for making phone calls because I talk for too long. Well, since then I don't make calls, but it is okay, because I knew my family will call me. And the funny part is they now wants me to call back more frequently.
Since young I am not breed with this culture, and I am really forgetful, so sometimes I am really too busy to really remember about making a phone call.
My dad then say: Do you want your child to not make phone calls to you when you are old? Well, of course not. So why are you doing this to your family? It is not something you do whenever you remember, but something you NEED to do because it's your responsibility.
In fact, I do understand, but sometimes I was thinking, if we have a stronger bond, stuff like this shouldn't even be an ask-to-do task, but a oh-I-miss-them phone call. But not being close is nobody's fault, not being brought up in that family is also no one's fault. Cause I do appreciate my father's family, especially my grandmother, she is really a cute, awesome and hardworking woman. I am very comfortable when I am with her, but at some point, it is different. I myself can't fully explain why, its just a feeling I have, the feeling of not being super duper close I guess? I don't know......
And now, because I am not doing what my father's side think I should I am wrong, they think its wrong because this is the family they have strong connections with, so not doing so is of course unfilial. I agree that I am wrong actually, but not unfilial.
I don't recall not making phone calls as an unfilial act actually, is it an unfilial act? I do wonder.
Actually rather than saying I am unfilial, I would say I am just practising a different culture comparing to them.
I told my brother about my thoughts, he agrees but tells me something and asks me to think about it, he said: You feel that you are not wrong or unfilial, because in your heart, you are not that kind of person right? But it is in your heart, how would the others know that you aren't that kind of person. And if you want others to stop thinking that you are unfilial or bad, act it out rather than keeping it in your heart where no one is able to see it.
You guessed it, I am really in a dilemma now. I know I am not wrong, but am I? Should I really change? He then continued: I know you want to be yourself, but is there any good from there? Sometimes why not just go with the flow, not asking you to change, but just do something that is good to both parties. If making phone calls is really something you can't seem to remember, do something else in exchange. Like me, I don't call too, but when I have break, I go back, so why didn't you go back last holiday? Me: Cause I am working, when I am not I do visit okay! Just because I did not went back during my ONE past break I am bad? My brother: Nope, but you should call them right? Me: I know I should not say this but....I forgotten. I started my work before my exam even ended, so I need to concern about both my exam and my work. A lot might think I am making excuses, but I really forgotten. Not on purpose but forgotten, for real!
Family; Home.
To me, a place where I can be comfortable and be myself, and if I need to follow their expectation and get bad feedbacks on not meeting them, how am I able to be comfortable?
I respect them, the only thing I hope to get back is being respected too. Or at least to be able to feel comfortable. And if I could not get that, how am I suppose to call that place home? How am I able to LOVE going back there?
Any advice? But I guess the advice would just be asking me to chance huh? Or even telling me to not be such an unfilial person.....well, maybe I really am, although I don't believe so.
Love towards a family comes from the heart. Too much flowery acts sometimes just makes you a fake person, I have my beliefs.
I will go with my beliefs for now, but I don't hate change.
So yeah, am going back this weekend. Well, actually I go back a lot compared to the years when I am still in Taiping, I don't come back to KL that often........only during long school holidays, even one week holidays I am not able to come back, because my dad said its troublesome....?!
Well, not trying to seek for fairness, cause I know there's no such thing? So why compare?
Just excuses to hold my ground I guess......>< LOL
Written On
31 July 2015
The feeling of anxiousness and you are always concern about the things they say or do while you are present. That sense of awkwardness you feel, sometimes even uncomfortable being in a particular situation, but...is this what a person should feel whenever they are with their family?
Ermmm, of course not, like DUHH!
Your family grew with you, you live together, your family is what made you who you are standing in this world today, so in what context do you think you have the choice to even be uncomfortable with them. Moreover say that they are strangers?
If a person really say such things he or she must be categorised as an unfilial person, how can one say such to their flesh and blood?
I couldn't agree more, but somehow I need to deny it because I am in the category that thinks otherwise.....Why?
Well, in a person's life, we are not born with one family but two, we call them the mother's side and the father's side. Even if both families stay near to each other, there will be culture differences, there will also be a family where you meet more frequently, the family where you were being brought up with their culture and living attitudes, no doubt.
So, whenever you meet with the other family, at some point you will feel a slight distance as they are not the family you are used to be with, at least they are not the family who experienced all your worst times nor best times. Just a family you visit whenever there are any celebrations or festivals.
In some families, both families can be so close that everyone can mix and mingle so well, that is the best condition two families could be seen as, A Big Family.
But how many families can really be as such?
I do observe my cousin's family. *the cousin from my mother's side*
In my eyes, they are the One-Big-Family type, which is really good!
But, in everybody's heart, there must be something that we can't see, which is their feelings.
By chance, I got really close with my cousin, and sometimes when we have your lunch date or 'yumcha' session, we talk about our feelings. She said actually she have not visit her father's side for quite some time. I am a little surprise, cause they are that good big family to me, but in her heart, she would rather choose her boyfriend than to visit her father's family. I asked why, she said actually she had no choice, because both of them are now working and the only time she can meet with her boyfriend was on Saturdays. And her Sundays are given to her parents, its their family day.
I then understand, in everyone's heart, everything is given a level, some are meant to be higher than others. Some are meant to be left-a-side first if something more important is to be happening on the same day, and unfortunately, her father's side family day is to be on Saturday.......Well.....she is bad right? But if you want to take up something, you need to let go of some other things first, and this is what she did.
Sorry to say, but I will have to agree with her.
I myself is being placed in the same situation. Well, no, I don't have a boyfriend LOL
My situation is one of my cousin * my father's side* always asks me the same question: Why do you not call back to ask about your grandmother and this family's situation? I stunned and answered, cause I am busy. He knew I was in my sem break, so he was thinking that I was just trying to fool him. But I am indeed busy, I am working, so yes I am busy.
Plus, making phone calls on a weekly basis is not something I practice, and at some extend, maybe I was just mad, because when I move to Taiping to live with my father's family, I was not given much chance to visit my mother's family which is in KL and my grandma is a breast cancer patient.
So, that most important few years of her life, I was in Taiping, and I guess the not-calling-others culture was bread since I went to Taiping since Form 1 as well. Why? Cause my mother's side are the ones that will call me as they knew then I was young and I am of course not able to pay for the phone bills.
Here is something ironic, I was scolded by one of my aunts in Taiping for making phone calls because I talk for too long. Well, since then I don't make calls, but it is okay, because I knew my family will call me. And the funny part is they now wants me to call back more frequently.
Since young I am not breed with this culture, and I am really forgetful, so sometimes I am really too busy to really remember about making a phone call.
My dad then say: Do you want your child to not make phone calls to you when you are old? Well, of course not. So why are you doing this to your family? It is not something you do whenever you remember, but something you NEED to do because it's your responsibility.
In fact, I do understand, but sometimes I was thinking, if we have a stronger bond, stuff like this shouldn't even be an ask-to-do task, but a oh-I-miss-them phone call. But not being close is nobody's fault, not being brought up in that family is also no one's fault. Cause I do appreciate my father's family, especially my grandmother, she is really a cute, awesome and hardworking woman. I am very comfortable when I am with her, but at some point, it is different. I myself can't fully explain why, its just a feeling I have, the feeling of not being super duper close I guess? I don't know......
And now, because I am not doing what my father's side think I should I am wrong, they think its wrong because this is the family they have strong connections with, so not doing so is of course unfilial. I agree that I am wrong actually, but not unfilial.
I don't recall not making phone calls as an unfilial act actually, is it an unfilial act? I do wonder.
Actually rather than saying I am unfilial, I would say I am just practising a different culture comparing to them.
I told my brother about my thoughts, he agrees but tells me something and asks me to think about it, he said: You feel that you are not wrong or unfilial, because in your heart, you are not that kind of person right? But it is in your heart, how would the others know that you aren't that kind of person. And if you want others to stop thinking that you are unfilial or bad, act it out rather than keeping it in your heart where no one is able to see it.
You guessed it, I am really in a dilemma now. I know I am not wrong, but am I? Should I really change? He then continued: I know you want to be yourself, but is there any good from there? Sometimes why not just go with the flow, not asking you to change, but just do something that is good to both parties. If making phone calls is really something you can't seem to remember, do something else in exchange. Like me, I don't call too, but when I have break, I go back, so why didn't you go back last holiday? Me: Cause I am working, when I am not I do visit okay! Just because I did not went back during my ONE past break I am bad? My brother: Nope, but you should call them right? Me: I know I should not say this but....I forgotten. I started my work before my exam even ended, so I need to concern about both my exam and my work. A lot might think I am making excuses, but I really forgotten. Not on purpose but forgotten, for real!
Family; Home.
To me, a place where I can be comfortable and be myself, and if I need to follow their expectation and get bad feedbacks on not meeting them, how am I able to be comfortable?
I respect them, the only thing I hope to get back is being respected too. Or at least to be able to feel comfortable. And if I could not get that, how am I suppose to call that place home? How am I able to LOVE going back there?
Any advice? But I guess the advice would just be asking me to chance huh? Or even telling me to not be such an unfilial person.....well, maybe I really am, although I don't believe so.
Love towards a family comes from the heart. Too much flowery acts sometimes just makes you a fake person, I have my beliefs.
I will go with my beliefs for now, but I don't hate change.
So yeah, am going back this weekend. Well, actually I go back a lot compared to the years when I am still in Taiping, I don't come back to KL that often........only during long school holidays, even one week holidays I am not able to come back, because my dad said its troublesome....?!
Well, not trying to seek for fairness, cause I know there's no such thing? So why compare?
Just excuses to hold my ground I guess......>< LOL
Written On
31 July 2015
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Are you Happy?
Are you Happy?
Everything has three sides.
First, the good side, so the next side...well, you guessed it, the bad side. How about the third side? I say the unknown.
But isn't there only two sides, being happy and being sad, you can also call it the black and white, its really that simple. Or not...?
I guess no, there is always this grey area in everything, no matter you are happy or sad, there is still the centre point where you just can't make sense of what you feel and certainly unable to translate those 'I think I feel happy/sad' into our 'feelings', because you simply don't understand what sort of feelings are you having at that moment. So I guess calling it the unknown is quite suitable huh!
Actually what I am trying to say is about the Ferris Wheel and Tears.
Many people say the Ferris Wheel meant happiness, love, dreams and many more positive things, but is it so?
To me, the Ferris Wheel meant more than that, other than all those happy things, we seems to forget that the Ferris Wheel has ups and downs. Yes, downs.
When the Ferris Wheel gets up high in the air, it meant happiness, but when it comes down, it just simply meant otherwise. The Ferris Wheel is the reflection to life, just like our life, we have ups and downs, and when there is ups, we feel happy, when it reaches the ground, it meant sadness, but how about when the Ferris Wheel is in the middle? That is when you can neither see the view from up top or the clear view of the ground, and most people are in this centre part where they don't know what to feel anymore? Because they are numb towards living or towards sadness that they learn to bare with it rather than express it, and the unknown part widens. And at some point, you might even lost yourself.
The Ferris Wheel, when you look up, you feel small because of its size, and of course you feel amazed by it, cause it really gives out the happy vibe, the vibe that comforts you, but try observing it going round and round and round. Can you see your life reflecting in the Ferris Wheel? Can you see yourself smiling while the Ferris Wheel reflects yourself?
If you can't, then.....Are you Happy?
If you can't, then.....Are you Happy?
Tears, well, its tears so it must be categorised at the sad part...right?
Because while the surface of tears meant sadness, hardships or anything that stands for negativity. These are the time we can totally relate with tears, cause its something that only produces if you are sad.
This I can't argue, because when you are sad, you cry. Its' how people function, no doubt there.
But does tears meant the sad part, the black part? Does it have no centre point? The 'unknown'?
Tears can also be found when your are happy right? When you are touched, when you laugh so much that your tears come out and many other situations that cause you to cry from happiness.
This is already so common that I am not going to touch this part, because like the Ferris Wheel, it has different interpretations and meanings.
To me, personally I am super emotional that I get sad in a split second. Well, girls and their emotions LOL
I guess there is no unknown part here? Well, in fact there is.
Tears to me is a symbol of de-stress and is also the pathway to reduce sadness.
Yeah, I cry a lot. As what I have mentioned, you cry when you are sad, similarly you cry when you have stress, so here, it meant the 'black' part I guess.
So where is the unknown? Actually in the process of crying, your analogue button opens. It's most probably the time where you talk to yourself the most. It's the part where you are given a chance to rediscover yourself.
Throughout the process, you feel as you are nothing, so useless that you aren't worth anything. And this is when the unknown part comes in.
You will find yourself and somehow get yourself back on track, you will know what is needed to be done, you will know what words are to be said and what words are to be best if stayed secret. You find yourself.
Everytime when you are sad, you loose a piece of yourself. So it kinda make sense, cause loosing yourself is painful and sad.
So, after finding yourself, you are whole again.
It is when I can say I am Happy, not because of looking at something that meant happiness, but to seek happiness from sadness and regain yourself. The adventure you will go on sometimes to make sure that our 'me' and 'I' get back as one again.
That is what true happiness means to me, not because of someone telling me to be happy or not being of any influences by the outside world, but only you and yourself talking, trying to find the balance of yourself.
Cause the society is too fake and everyone is masked up, armed up just for the sake of being what people expected and not what you wanted yourself to be.
Cause the society is too fake and everyone is masked up, armed up just for the sake of being what people expected and not what you wanted yourself to be.
Loosing yourself is really scary, so if your are able to find yourself again and make yourself whole, I would want to ask you the same question again from the beginning.....
Are You Happy?
Written On
26 July 2015
APA Referencing
Byford, J. (n.d.).
Ferris wheel [ big wheel ] at bottons in Skegness. Image Retrieved from
Skegness In Picture: http://www.skegness.org.uk/pages/album/big-wheel.html
Hunter, C. K.
(2011, August 24). Travel Tears: In-Flight Entertainment Abounds. Image Retrieved
from Smart Meetings:
http://www.smartmeetings.com/news/travel/62585/travel-tears
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Are We So Easily Influenced?
A Cinderella Story, one of my favourite movies.
Although this is a old movie, and even if I have watched it for more than a thousand times, I cried everytime because it is just too close to reality. Movies are usually non-fiction but this is just so me I guess.
I use freak out whenever I am given the chance to do the things I liked, because I care about other people's opinion and if I get any feedback saying 'No' 'Its Bad', I don't do it no matter how much I wanted to.
But since I watched this movie, this quote keeps running around my mind and it acts as my alarm whenever I freak out at anything.
Well, okay. I won't say I am not freaking out anymore, and unfortunately I still freaked out a lot, I think too much about the right and wrong and ended up not doing it cause I am too negative. But if I am able to think about this quote, it really boosts up my confidence level, and whenever I think about this quote, I think about the movie as well.
Yes, other than this quote, the whole movie contains a lot of inspirational words and actions that an individual should have.
First is to be true yourself no matter what circumstances.
Work hard and live up to your life.
Family is not only those that are blood-related to you but those that stand by your side whenever you need them.
Never give up even when it seems like you are loosing.
Last but not least, to be positive, because sometimes fairy-tales do happen; especially when you are not aware of it.
People nowadays, especially young teens, they have confidence and everything an individual needs to survive, but not a sense of grateful was to be seen. I really do wonder why this happened, is this what society has taught them? Has our society change this drastic to have such different perspectives towards good behaviour and attitudes?
Once I remember a post on FaceBook, a 12 year old girl commited suicide because her grades flop, she died. A few days later, another girl commited suicide again because of her grades as well, this time, she got lucky cause she only had a fracture in her arm. And when these teens are not commenting suicide, they are doing sex tapes or taking nude pictures of themselves.
Arghhh, what has happened?
Is it the lack of education? Nope. Is it the lack of interest given by their parents? Well, I guess this is kinda like the main reason huh? Or the influence of Western or Korean cultures? Actually I find this reason vague and pointless.
Cause aren't your every thought suppose to be generated by you yourself? These teens have the brains to tell their parent to not mind their business cause they TOTALLY know what they are doing and not filter what is good or bad about the information they are exposed to? Isn't it funny?
Unfortunately, the teens nowadays are way too confident therefore they think what they know or believe is the only Right rule that should be followed......Hmmmm, I do wonder about the education system now. Cause I don't recall having the slightest contact with any sort of education as such though LOL
Like I said, a lot think its because of the bad influences from the Western and Korean culture, but to me I don't think its a problem with exposure to these cultures and sometimes, its even a good thing being exposed to another culture.
First, it is you yourself that decides what to believe or what to follow, if you decide to follow the bad stuff, then it is therefore your choice. But if one is being brought up with a healthy mindset, how can they be so easily influenced by these bad influences?
So, how is the unhealthy mindset built? Don't say environments, cause its again absurd as a whole lot of people who grew in a poor family or with abusive parents turned out fine but not those who were brought up in a good environment? So this point is not a fact but a thought.
Second, bad parenting or influence by peers or friends.
Okay, come on. It is not right for parents to be consistently working until their child feels neglected, but I myself grew up from a divorced family, both my parents are busy working, I barely have time to talk to my mother then and everytime I talk to my father, our conversations leads to a fight, and I can say, it ends up really bad.
So I don't agree that growing up with parents' attention are the main reasons that caused this, as relationships can be easily changed by communicating and that is how me and my parents are now.
As for peers or friends, I believe they make a bigger impact to the thoughts of teens now, cause it seems that teens now tend to believe what their friends say and will act as such too because they want to blend in to the groups. But again, these aren't small kids that are not able to analyse, their brain cells are fully developed and is capable of doing the job we known as 'thinking'.
So where is the problem now?
Environment? Education? Family? Friends? Background? Ethnics? Cultures? Or THEMSELVES?
I do wonder.......LOL
Just like the quote, "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game".
Yes, no one should be afraid of not being able to fit in or not able to reach your goals, we are humans, we are able to make mistakes and admit we are sometimes wrong or slightly off track. But remember, never be scared of reality or loosing because its the process that really matters.
Have fun and be yourself.
Then, it will be impossible for you to be easily influenced by things that are wrong or bad. Stay strong to your own beliefs and have faith in yourself.
I am not a Christian, but hold on, cause God knows what he is doing.
Written On
19 July 2015
APA Referencing
Rosman, M.
(Director). (2004). A Cinderella Story [Motion Picture].
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Emptiness.......
What is emptiness?
Well, some say love, some say family, but to me, I say friends.
Yeah, a lot can't understand why, but friends are a very important aspect in my life.
Because friends are the ones that reflects who you are, cause the same characteristics attract the same people, so of there are no friends, who is there to portray who you are anymore?
This is quote, and it totally explains what an empty friendship feels like.......
Recently, I have this particular feeling towards my ex-college mates, we use to be so close that we are able to share everything and I mean EVERYTHING.
Well, now, its totally different.
Just because of the time we have not been able to meet up and share our thoughts made us so far apart that you can now feel the gap in between.
Although this is the process of life but it is so unfair for a human being to feel so many departures in one lifetime.
First there is the departure with our family members, no matter moving out from our home or loved ones passing away. Second, the departure of the ones we thought made us complete, our lovers. Love made two strangers so close but still could not have a happy ending therefore parting has been the only ending to some unfortunate relationships. Then there are departure from friends, the ones we believe have connections the most, from the heart or soul.
Friends are the people that not only give you inspiration, but entertainment, love, care, support and any form of happiness or support you could ever imagine of. So, having such emptiness now really makes my emotions down and somehow its been hard to had a real smile even.
Well, you can say I am too sentimental, and I don't deny it at all. Cause of being sentimental, I have friends that really had that soulmate-relationship, I am so lucky to have find those people but now, I feel unfortunate as well because mentally to me, I feel like I have lost them.
My mental support team has gone and what left feels like an empty human-shell walking as if I have no emotions or to say have forgotten what do emotions felt like. Have lost the ability to feel I guess.... :(
When does this feelings feel most real?
Well, a lot might say: It's when you see them sharing photos of new friends, new places, new clothes you have never seen, new people, new everything but without you there.
Yes, this is really sad, but to me, the time you feel the particular feeling is when you see them sharing the same photos that we use to make fun about, but this time tagging same bunch of people but sharing jokes that you don't understand. Visiting the place you use to go together but this time you are not there with them, wearing the clothes you use to call our looks but this time its with other people, spending time with the people you all call friends but you aren't one of them.
This to me is the most heartbreaking. And now with all the technology, its impossible to avoid seeing those moments of them without you there.
Well, of course. One can say: Ahhhhhhh they are still the same you are just over thinking. I agree, but the truth strikes when the awkward feeling starts to show whenever you see their post on FaceBook or Instagram, it is then you know the invisible wall is starting to build and it is getting more and more solid as the day goes by.
Sometimes you still try to reach out, because its the only chance you have....you tried to comment on their posts, you try to Whatsapp them...but when you get no replies, the only feeling felt are emptiness.
A lot say it is time when you learn to move on, but why do we need to ever feel anything like this? Isn't it unfair? Why should life be so much sadness?
Okay. The life-talk comes in now......
The only thing that makes life interesting is when there are combinations of feeling and experience, yes I know. I always did, but its still hard for me to digest this.....
Only time can make it fade....I guess?
Written On
12 July 2015
APA Referencing:
Well, some say love, some say family, but to me, I say friends.
Yeah, a lot can't understand why, but friends are a very important aspect in my life.
Because friends are the ones that reflects who you are, cause the same characteristics attract the same people, so of there are no friends, who is there to portray who you are anymore?
Recently, I have this particular feeling towards my ex-college mates, we use to be so close that we are able to share everything and I mean EVERYTHING.
Well, now, its totally different.
Just because of the time we have not been able to meet up and share our thoughts made us so far apart that you can now feel the gap in between.
Although this is the process of life but it is so unfair for a human being to feel so many departures in one lifetime.
First there is the departure with our family members, no matter moving out from our home or loved ones passing away. Second, the departure of the ones we thought made us complete, our lovers. Love made two strangers so close but still could not have a happy ending therefore parting has been the only ending to some unfortunate relationships. Then there are departure from friends, the ones we believe have connections the most, from the heart or soul.
Friends are the people that not only give you inspiration, but entertainment, love, care, support and any form of happiness or support you could ever imagine of. So, having such emptiness now really makes my emotions down and somehow its been hard to had a real smile even.
Well, you can say I am too sentimental, and I don't deny it at all. Cause of being sentimental, I have friends that really had that soulmate-relationship, I am so lucky to have find those people but now, I feel unfortunate as well because mentally to me, I feel like I have lost them.
My mental support team has gone and what left feels like an empty human-shell walking as if I have no emotions or to say have forgotten what do emotions felt like. Have lost the ability to feel I guess.... :(
When does this feelings feel most real?
Well, a lot might say: It's when you see them sharing photos of new friends, new places, new clothes you have never seen, new people, new everything but without you there.
Yes, this is really sad, but to me, the time you feel the particular feeling is when you see them sharing the same photos that we use to make fun about, but this time tagging same bunch of people but sharing jokes that you don't understand. Visiting the place you use to go together but this time you are not there with them, wearing the clothes you use to call our looks but this time its with other people, spending time with the people you all call friends but you aren't one of them.
This to me is the most heartbreaking. And now with all the technology, its impossible to avoid seeing those moments of them without you there.
Well, of course. One can say: Ahhhhhhh they are still the same you are just over thinking. I agree, but the truth strikes when the awkward feeling starts to show whenever you see their post on FaceBook or Instagram, it is then you know the invisible wall is starting to build and it is getting more and more solid as the day goes by.
Sometimes you still try to reach out, because its the only chance you have....you tried to comment on their posts, you try to Whatsapp them...but when you get no replies, the only feeling felt are emptiness.
A lot say it is time when you learn to move on, but why do we need to ever feel anything like this? Isn't it unfair? Why should life be so much sadness?
Okay. The life-talk comes in now......
The only thing that makes life interesting is when there are combinations of feeling and experience, yes I know. I always did, but its still hard for me to digest this.....
Only time can make it fade....I guess?
Written On
12 July 2015
APA Referencing:
lovely.poem. (2015, June). Image Retrieved from Instagram:
https://instagram.com/p/3OtlfDhy87/
https://instagram.com/p/3OtlfDhy87/
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Is The Missing Link still Missing?
A lot might ask, what is the missing link?
Some might say, the missing link are creatures we all call Aliens, Big Foot or any of those mystic creatures we believed existed.
BUT.....Are they The Missing Link?
To me, the missing link is non of those mystic being above but you yourself. YES, you are the missing link.
Some might say, the missing link are creatures we all call Aliens, Big Foot or any of those mystic creatures we believed existed.
BUT.....Are they The Missing Link?
To me, the missing link is non of those mystic being above but you yourself. YES, you are the missing link.
Why?
Well, the missing links are those that we all have not seen before but thought its always there. The missing link are those that we want to learn more about. The missing link is so huge so incredible that it can go anywhere and be anything.
So, aren't those statements stated make you relate to your mind, your brain, your imagination?
Your mind is always there but you could never see it.
Your brain is one of the organs that scientists want to learn more about.
And last but not least, your imagination is so huge so incredible that it can put you anywhere and be anything.
Without us giving meaning to the research and studies, 'The Missing Link' would not even exist.
We are the creators of the missing link, therefore we are the link.
Why did I have this crazy thought?
A few days ago I saw a documentary showing the old Chinese palace, The Forbidden City - 紫禁城.
A few days ago I saw a documentary showing the old Chinese palace, The Forbidden City - 紫禁城.
 |
| The Forbidden City - 紫禁城 |
It documented the roads China's past emperors used to step on, rooms the past king and queens used to live in, gardens and parks the people living in the palace use to discuss business or gossip about the other imperial concubines.
It is truly amazing!
It is truly amazing!
It then continued with a story of the emperors mother, Empress Lee - 李太后 also known as Empress Xiao Ding - 孝定太后.
 |
| Empress Xiao Ding - 孝定太后 |
She use to be a servant, but the king was so into her that he got intimate with her despite the other concubines he already had.
Then, she got pregnant and she was immediately promoted as an imperial concubine. After a decade, the king passed away and Imperial Concubine Lee's son was ask to be prince, and she got the title of 'Empress'.
Although she is the empress, she was not getting the respect she should be given due to her background of being a servant.
But she was so cleaver that she told everyone she dreamt about herself being the Nine Lotus Buddha - 九蓮菩薩 and she built a temple to worship the Buddha she 'dreamt' herself to become.
Then, she got pregnant and she was immediately promoted as an imperial concubine. After a decade, the king passed away and Imperial Concubine Lee's son was ask to be prince, and she got the title of 'Empress'.
Although she is the empress, she was not getting the respect she should be given due to her background of being a servant.
But she was so cleaver that she told everyone she dreamt about herself being the Nine Lotus Buddha - 九蓮菩薩 and she built a temple to worship the Buddha she 'dreamt' herself to become.
 |
| Pagoda of Ci Shou Temple - 慈壽寺塔 |
After that, people changed, as China is a superstitious country so people do not dare to challenge her, as she is then known as the living god.
I was inspired, and thought ‘WOW! She is awesome! I would want to be her no doubt'.
Then this is when I had the idea about us being the missing link.
Because of us giving meaning to the past, we have now able to trace back to those historical days and connect ourselves to the past.
Because we are able to imagine, we can be in both the past and the present.
If one is crazy enough, you can be in the past and the future. Those are the people like J.K Rowling, Steven Spielberg, James Cameron and more talented talented writers, directors, producers and anyone of you who are brave enough to explore your mind and have the adventure you always wanted with your eyes closed.
Like the Harry Potter series, Jurassic World, The Avatar and many more...these are creations of those who linked their mind and imagination to the past and the future using present technology and expressed it successfully through written words or movies.
We, then put ourselves into the situation and gave meaning to it by linking ourselves to the past and future as well.
But some say, histories make the present, and the missing links are those that makes the future. So how can we be THE missing link?
Try thinking it this way, because the missing link is no longer ‘missing', so it ain't the missing link any-more, its just The Link.
And aren't we suppose to be the link to the future? Aren't we making the future now?
Hence, if the link is to create future and we ARE indeed creating a future, what are we?...
Try thinking it this way, because the missing link is no longer ‘missing', so it ain't the missing link any-more, its just The Link.
And aren't we suppose to be the link to the future? Aren't we making the future now?
Hence, if the link is to create future and we ARE indeed creating a future, what are we?...
Written On
27 June 2015
APA Referencing
APA Referencing
(2015, May 11).
Retrieved from Wikipedia:
https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%AD%9D%E5%AE%9A%E5%A4%AA%E5%90%8E#/media/File:China%27s_Ming_Dynasty_Empress_Xiaoding.jpg
寒冰冰. (2010, November 4). blog_寒冰冰的个人空间. Retrieved from 中國網專家博客: http://blog.china.com.cn/blog-1236268-271458.html
馆长秘书. (2010, October 10). 馆长秘书的博客. Retrieved from 新浪博客: http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_540ddbc401016pe6.html
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Love Inspires
What is cancer? I guess everyone would be thinking about deaths, severe diseases and such, but to me, its different.
Why? Well, of course its not because of Cancer itself, but because of a Cancer victim who I will remember for the rest of my life. She, is my Grandmother.
She is such an incredible women, she fought with cancer like it was nothing;
She gone through a lot of pain but still manage to bare with it, as according to the doctors, cancer is a very painful sickness. Cancer patients usually screams and shouts a lot because even with Morphines, the pain is still extremely over the top.
Even the doctor was in awe, he told us he never saw a patient that can bare with so much of pain and still managed to smile and talk when we are in the ward.
But she always asked us to visit her less because the travel distance form our home is not near, but now I knew what is the REAL reason behind. It is because she was in too much pain but do not want us to worry so much so she acted that she was feeling okay.
Because of this, I learnt to be strong. Cause we easily feel defeated especially when we are in a bad situation. I use to be that kind of people too. But I changed.
How can you feel bad or defeated when there is someone being this positive and caring at the same time and is facing something so bad that it will unfortunately take your life away from you.
Although it has been years since her death, but sometimes when I close my eyes and think of her, it feels like she is still here with me. Like she never really left.
I still remember the night before she passed away, she was discharged from the hospital, but she couldn't breath so there is a breathing tank for her.
With her condition, she could not stand one minute without the help from the tank.
But the most amazing thing happened, as when she reach home, she needs to discharge from the tank as she needs to walk from the car to the house. Other than the breathing, she isn't suppose to be able to even walk! But because she is that amazing, she not only walked, but walked without the breathing tank!
She is so sick, but she still manage to do such amazing things that sometimes a normal sick person is unable to do.
So, no healthy person has the rights to end their life or even say things that are negative. Cause she, who has both Breast and Lung cancer did not give up how can you?
When she is in the house, she saw me and my brother. She was so happy and excited at the same time!
Cause we study in Taiping (A small place in Perak) for our secondary studies, so we have not much time together, especially when she diagnosed with Breast Cancer.
We were very close cause we are raised in Kuala Lumpur and she is the one that brought us up.
I remember her sitting on the bamboo chair, and I was sitting next to her, she called my name, she smiled and she took my hand! She has not much strength left because she just walked and she still looked pale and tired a second ago, but not when she saw us.
But what made me so happy and sad at the same moment was when she saw my brother and she literally sat up and took my brother's hand. Yes, she sat up. How did she manage to do it is so incredible!
Although you might say its a miracle, but I believe she is the one that gave all her strength just to hold my brother's hand.
She is so ill, but because of love, she did a lot of things that sometimes cannot be done by a normal person. She is such an inspiration to me.
She thought me how to be positive and stay positive even when you are not in good conditions,
She thought me to be strong no matter what and to be someone else's source of happiness, cause when life knocks you down you can choose to fall or get back up.
Until now, I still cries whenever I think of her.
Even when I am writing this post, I shed a few tears when I recall memories of her.
Be the one that gives less worries to others, be the one that gives others strength to move on.
Be just like her, this remarkable women; My Lovely Grandmother.
To me, lessons are those that will stay inside our mind no matter how much time has passed.
To me, inspiration are those that will keep you MOTIVATED and 'ALIVE' even if they are not here anymore.
To me, this is beyond inspiration. THIS IS LOVE, because love is the only thing that can be always there even when they aren't there. Love is the only thing that will keep reminding us about things, memories, lessons, and of course them.
Love is Inspiration. Love is Infinite.
Written On
21 June 2015
Why? Well, of course its not because of Cancer itself, but because of a Cancer victim who I will remember for the rest of my life. She, is my Grandmother.
She is such an incredible women, she fought with cancer like it was nothing;
She gone through a lot of pain but still manage to bare with it, as according to the doctors, cancer is a very painful sickness. Cancer patients usually screams and shouts a lot because even with Morphines, the pain is still extremely over the top.
Even the doctor was in awe, he told us he never saw a patient that can bare with so much of pain and still managed to smile and talk when we are in the ward.
But she always asked us to visit her less because the travel distance form our home is not near, but now I knew what is the REAL reason behind. It is because she was in too much pain but do not want us to worry so much so she acted that she was feeling okay.
Because of this, I learnt to be strong. Cause we easily feel defeated especially when we are in a bad situation. I use to be that kind of people too. But I changed.
How can you feel bad or defeated when there is someone being this positive and caring at the same time and is facing something so bad that it will unfortunately take your life away from you.
Although it has been years since her death, but sometimes when I close my eyes and think of her, it feels like she is still here with me. Like she never really left.
I still remember the night before she passed away, she was discharged from the hospital, but she couldn't breath so there is a breathing tank for her.
With her condition, she could not stand one minute without the help from the tank.
But the most amazing thing happened, as when she reach home, she needs to discharge from the tank as she needs to walk from the car to the house. Other than the breathing, she isn't suppose to be able to even walk! But because she is that amazing, she not only walked, but walked without the breathing tank!
She is so sick, but she still manage to do such amazing things that sometimes a normal sick person is unable to do.
So, no healthy person has the rights to end their life or even say things that are negative. Cause she, who has both Breast and Lung cancer did not give up how can you?
When she is in the house, she saw me and my brother. She was so happy and excited at the same time!
Cause we study in Taiping (A small place in Perak) for our secondary studies, so we have not much time together, especially when she diagnosed with Breast Cancer.
We were very close cause we are raised in Kuala Lumpur and she is the one that brought us up.
I remember her sitting on the bamboo chair, and I was sitting next to her, she called my name, she smiled and she took my hand! She has not much strength left because she just walked and she still looked pale and tired a second ago, but not when she saw us.
But what made me so happy and sad at the same moment was when she saw my brother and she literally sat up and took my brother's hand. Yes, she sat up. How did she manage to do it is so incredible!
Although you might say its a miracle, but I believe she is the one that gave all her strength just to hold my brother's hand.
She is so ill, but because of love, she did a lot of things that sometimes cannot be done by a normal person. She is such an inspiration to me.
She thought me how to be positive and stay positive even when you are not in good conditions,
She thought me to be strong no matter what and to be someone else's source of happiness, cause when life knocks you down you can choose to fall or get back up.
Until now, I still cries whenever I think of her.
Even when I am writing this post, I shed a few tears when I recall memories of her.
Be the one that gives less worries to others, be the one that gives others strength to move on.
Be just like her, this remarkable women; My Lovely Grandmother.
To me, lessons are those that will stay inside our mind no matter how much time has passed.
To me, inspiration are those that will keep you MOTIVATED and 'ALIVE' even if they are not here anymore.
To me, this is beyond inspiration. THIS IS LOVE, because love is the only thing that can be always there even when they aren't there. Love is the only thing that will keep reminding us about things, memories, lessons, and of course them.
Love is Inspiration. Love is Infinite.
Written On
21 June 2015
Sunday, June 14, 2015
FT Island is Life
I guess everyone has that one thing that is there to inspire them. Music; Movies; A Person; Literally anything in the universe can be ones inspiration. As for me, its through Music.
Not just any music, but FT Island's music! Because of them, I now see music as life, my source of energy. Yes! They are FT Island.
And I guess you are curious to know who are they? Well, they are a Korean Rock Band consists of 5 members! (A lot might think: Arghh! Not K-pop again. Well, they are Koreans but no, this ain't k-pop, this is Music!)
에프티 아일랜드 (FT Island)
Intro from Right to Left
최종훈 (Choi Jong Hoon)
♥ Leader
♥ Guitarist and Pianist
♥ Composer and Lyricist
♥ Actor
이홍기 (Lee Hong Ki)
♥ Lead Vocalist
♥ Composer and Lyricist
♥ Actor
♥ SkullHong's Creative Director (Fashion Brand)
최민환 (Choi Min Hwan)
♥ Drummer
♥ Composer and Lyricist
♥ YouTube TV Host
이재진 (Lee Jae Jin)
♥ Vocalist
♥ Bassist
♥ Composer and Lyricist
♥ Actor
송승현 (Song Seung Hoon)
♥ Vocalist
♥ Guitarist
♥ Composer and Lyricist
♥ Actor
최종훈 (Choi Jong Hoon)
♥ Leader
♥ Guitarist and Pianist
♥ Composer and Lyricist
♥ Actor
이홍기 (Lee Hong Ki)
♥ Lead Vocalist
♥ Composer and Lyricist
♥ Actor
♥ SkullHong's Creative Director (Fashion Brand)
최민환 (Choi Min Hwan)
♥ Drummer
♥ Composer and Lyricist
♥ YouTube TV Host
이재진 (Lee Jae Jin)
♥ Vocalist
♥ Bassist
♥ Composer and Lyricist
♥ Actor
송승현 (Song Seung Hoon)
♥ Vocalist
♥ Guitarist
♥ Composer and Lyricist
♥ Actor
FT Island have struggled for 8 years and all they wanted was to produce their own music! Those 8 years aren't all good moments, they succeed, they fall, they were controlled, they are ignored, they are neglected and they got back up every single time!
And now, they are Back! STRONGER than ever, doing the music they love and have always wanted! Although their company is not giving the support they should, but FT will not give up!
Reporters asked why "I Will"? Hong Ki (Lead Vocalist) said: 'It was actually named "We Will" but we decided to change to "I Will" because we want our fans and those who listen to the album to fulfil their dreams as well.'
If you already know them please continue to support them, if you don't, please give them a chance to show you what they are capable of! You might not feel anything but you might also feel otherwise!
Music has no limits, and language is certainly not a barrier. You might not be crazy in love but, who knows the result might surprise you as well.
You may fall for them without you even noticing! That, is the power of REAL MUSIC! ♥
I have been into FT Island's music for 4 years and their music is still touching my soul as I first started loving them. This is the most incredible feelings I got from music, a lot might think I am childish for liking a Korean Band and I can't deny that actually.
Cause I am really strict when it comes to FT Island, I will not listen to their music (new songs especially) if I am not able to listen to it peacefully or not being able to enjoy every single note the band played or sung. I also can't stand other people giving false accusations about them without knowing who they are. So, I guess I am that protective when it comes to FT Island.
I remembered a line from a recent drama call Prince of Prince (Jong Hoon's new short drama), it says:
"To every single person, there must be something so precious to themselves that others might not understand why. And because it is so meaningful and precious to you, you wouldn't want other people to know its existence.
Then later on, you would be afraid that people might misunderstand you so you kept it hidden deep inside. ㅡ Hiang Dan"
And now, they are Back! STRONGER than ever, doing the music they love and have always wanted! Although their company is not giving the support they should, but FT will not give up!
If you already know them please continue to support them, if you don't, please give them a chance to show you what they are capable of! You might not feel anything but you might also feel otherwise!
Music has no limits, and language is certainly not a barrier. You might not be crazy in love but, who knows the result might surprise you as well.
You may fall for them without you even noticing! That, is the power of REAL MUSIC! ♥
I have been into FT Island's music for 4 years and their music is still touching my soul as I first started loving them. This is the most incredible feelings I got from music, a lot might think I am childish for liking a Korean Band and I can't deny that actually.
Cause I am really strict when it comes to FT Island, I will not listen to their music (new songs especially) if I am not able to listen to it peacefully or not being able to enjoy every single note the band played or sung. I also can't stand other people giving false accusations about them without knowing who they are. So, I guess I am that protective when it comes to FT Island.
I remembered a line from a recent drama call Prince of Prince (Jong Hoon's new short drama), it says:
"To every single person, there must be something so precious to themselves that others might not understand why. And because it is so meaningful and precious to you, you wouldn't want other people to know its existence.
Then later on, you would be afraid that people might misunderstand you so you kept it hidden deep inside. ㅡ Hiang Dan"
This is just so me! Although I am proud to be a Primadonna (FT Island's Fandom name), but I could never simply introduce them to my friends or families unless they show interest, then I will keep blabbing about them non-stop LOL
I never knew why, but now I know. Its because they are too precious to me, I never though someone that I have never met would mean so much. They aren't my families or close friends, so I never thought I would stay loyal for so long!
I am lucky enough to be in love with the music that can touch my soul, I guess that's the main reason why I am so attached to their music!
My fist FT Island song was "Don't Love". At that time, I don't know their looks and certainly don't know who are they, but this particular song changed my thoughts towards the Korean Entertainment Industry.
사랑 하지마요 (Don't Love) - FT Island
After that, I YouTubed them, Googled them. Since then, I am addicted to them. (Yes, its quite scary indeed.)
I have grown with their music and before I knew them, I never thought of being that I-am-into-Rock girl, but they changed me. Because they are a band, I started to learn to differentiate different music instruments. The Bass has one of the hardest sound to spot in a song, cause the vocal, the drum and mainly the electric guitar's sound will be layered on top of it and no joke, I really took sometime to just spot the bass's sound.
At first, I though then why have the bass if no one could spot it easily? Well, after I can, I noticed the importance of the bass, it acts as a compliment sound supporting the drum and; its the heart of the band.
Some might be curious of how the bass sounds, this video is 4 years ago I guess, its during one of FT Island's concerts.
Lee Jae Jin (The Bassist)'s Solo Performance.
FT Island brought back my passion into music and certainly my love towards singing.
They also inspired me to take up a new language, Korean. Although I did not went to classes, but I managed to learn the language at home. I bought books and asked my friends who knew Korean to give me some tips and now, I can read, speak and write Korean. Not fluent though, but I can handle normal and easy conversations.
I have already know the basics so whenever I met those people that wanted to learn Korean, I am willing to teach them the things I knew about the language and certainly about the Korean culture as well.
If its not because of FT Island. I will still be that girl who is still confused and thinking about what my passion will be and what my dreams will be.
I am not shy to say that I am Proud of having FT Island as my idol, my guide and my inspiration. I am not shy to say that I am Proud to be a Primadonna.
If anyone out there got moved by this particular writing and is curious about their music. I am willing to share some of my favourite ones from their newest album "I Will".
Actually, their title song is "Pray", I love that song too but I personally like "To The Light" more :)
To The Light - FT Island
Composer: Lee Jae Jin (Bassist)
Lyricist: Lee Jae Jin (Bassist) & Lee Hong Ki (Lead Vocalist)
I guess it would be wrong to not share any live performances. Cause another reason why I stay with FT for so long is certainly because of their A.W.E.S.O.M.E live performances! ♥
This video is from their Replay Autumn Tour 2013 in Japan. (PS: They are more popular in Japan than Korea.)
Black Chocolate (Japanese Version) - FT Island
Composer: Lee Hong Ki (Lead Vocalist)
Lyricist: Lee Hong Ki (Lead Vocalist)
After the video, if anyone is interested in the full concert, you can click the link below ♥
FT ISLAND REPLAY AUTUMN TOUR 2013 (FULL)
Written On
14 June 2015
APA Referencing
Island, F. (2015). I Will [Recorded by F. Island]. Korea, Seoul, Cheong Dam Dong.
Saranghae, P. (2015, March 15). FT Island Comeback Schedule of Releases New Teaser Image. Retrieved from Beprimadonna: https://beprimadonna.wordpress.com/2015/03/15/ftisland-comeback-schedule-of-releases-new-teaser-image/
FT Island- 사랑하지마요 (Don't Love) lyrics [Eng. | Rom. | Han.]. (2011, September 20). Retrieved from YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViCi5MgDpF0
[Solo Stage] Lee Jae Jin 이재진- Bass performance. (2010, September 8). Retrieved from YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V8kQlDr044
(FT아일랜드), F. (2015, March 16). FTISLAND
- To The Light M/V (2015 KOR). Retrieved from YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCgj_qWL7aU
FTISLAND-black
chocolate. (2014, January 10). Retrieved from YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnQYJJNjOoI
[Vietsub + Kara] FTISLAND AUTUMN TOUR 2013 - REPLAY (FULL). (2015, March 1). Retrieved from YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFahUfKzsCg
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